Hi Everyone,
 

I hope that all is well with you. I’ve been on the road again, to visit one of my daughters and celebrate her birthday, in LA. I do that every year. LA always seems like a fun city to me, and there’s lots to do. And usually the weather is warm and balmy in Southern California, but it was chilly this time (but it was snowing in NY while I was there, so I can’t complain too much!!).

My means of transportation to get LA is a little bit unusual. I have——a rock star bus!!! That sounds crazy, I know, but it has been a VERY useful and fun vehicle in my life. Years ago, when my kids were really little, we took them to a dude ranch in Wyoming, and rented the bus and driver to get there. It is a very long drive, but the bus was supremely comfortable. We didn’t sleep on the bus, but it made it much easier to travel all day and into the evening (without stopping to eat). And we all liked it so much, that we rented the bus again the following year, when we went to Wyoming again. Then we took it skiing a couple of times in the winter, and drove to LA. Eventually, it became an important means of transportation, when I began doing TV movies first for ABC, then NBC, and we were doing miniseries. I had to go to LA frequently to consult on them, but didn’t want to leave my kids at home repeatedly, so I took all 9 children along!!! Travelling with 9 children, all very young and close in age (at one point I had 4 children under 4, and 4 car seats in my car), 2 people to help me, my husband and myself, was like moving an army, with all the equipment—cribs, strollers, a pram for the youngest baby, toys, clothes, playpens, high chairs—-trying to put all that on a plane was an absolute nightmare, and the ‘rock star bus’ was so easy, and still is. From San Francisco to LA by plane takes about 5 hours, door to door, without delays—–and there are ALWAYS delays to and from San Francisco, because they only use one runway in bad weather, so short distance flights are either very delayed or cancelled. I’ve spent as long as 8 hours in the SF Airport, waiting to get a flight to LA, or on the way back. And it takes only ONE hour longer to take the bus from door to door. And that little extra hour is well worth it.

The beauty of the bus is that you can do whatever you want, sit around barefoot, lie down, sleep, read, eat, make phone calls, watch a movie, talk on the phone, answer emails, you can take as much luggage as you want, or bring home shopping in shopping bags, without having to pack it in a suitcase. It’s a totally relaxing easy way to travel, and I still use the bus whenever I go to LA. No airport stress, no delays, I can sleep, or talk on the phone, or do whatever.

Eventually, after renting the bus every year, we decided to buy it, about 25 years ago, after renting it for 5 years—so the bus isn’t new today, but runs like clockwork, we maintain it well. We had the same bus driver each time we rented it, and he still drives us today. I redecorated it when I bought it, and it’s all done in durable navy velvety fabrics and brown leathers, dark wood paneling, and navy carpeting, with a beige fabric ceiling. All the seating is very comfortable. There are 2 main rooms. The front room seats 16 people, with two long couches (where even a tall man can stretch out to sleep), two big brown leather club chairs with a round table between them (to eat or play cards), a dining table with two banquettes (perfect for Scrabble, other games, or a meal—or homework, or editing!!), and a big comfortable chair at the front of the bus where you can watch the scenery go by. There is a bathroom (with a shower in it too), and a full kitchen. And in the ‘back room’, a big round dining table, with comfortable banquettes all around it, and 4 comfortable club chairs. There are 2 TV’s to watch 2 separate movies in back or front room. You can eat, sleep, shower, dress and get where you’re going, without ever leaving the bus, with big luggage compartments below. The bus is the same size as a Greyhound bus, about 44 feet long. There is no sleeping accommodation, because we didn’t want it. The back dining room used to be the bedroom, but we did away with that in the beginning. There are too many of us, or there were, to camp out on the bus. But you can travel very comfortably for long distances for many hours, with everything you could possibly need on board—-even Internet access now, stereo system, etc.

I used to get teased a lot about my ‘rock star bus’, but it’s one of those luxuries and self-indulgences that I really love, and have hung onto, even when the kids grew up. My children still love it. It’s an incredibly comfortable way to travel. I don’t have an airplane—but I have a bus!! With long security lines, and the stress of travelling, delays so much of the time, and crowded conditions on the plane, going by bus sure is easy.  I just spent a wonderful 3 days with one of my daughters in LA, had a smooth easy trip down, read and slept for part of the trip. I had a ball in LA with my daughter, and we did some shopping, and I brought my bags back to SF, without worry about how heavy my suitcases were, or how many I had. I chatted on the phone for part of it, and enjoyed the peace and quiet as we drove through the agricultural heart of California, with miles and miles of corn, nuts, and all kinds of crops growing. It’s way more comfortable than a plane!!!

It’s one of my famous means of travel, and I’m sure it makes me look a little eccentric as I pull up in my bus—but it’s cozy and warm in a snowstorm (and has the bathroom and kitchen, so you never need to stop). It’s just plain fun…..so if you see a bus whiz past you somewhere, it may not be a Greyhound—it may just be me on my magic bus!!!

Have a great week!!

love, Danielle

Hi Everyone,
 

I hope that all is well with you. I had a VERY full week last week, ‘on the road’ again, and the high point of my week, my year was my appearance last Friday on Good Morning America, with Robin Roberts. Although at the beginning of my career, when I was terrified of TV appearances, and public appearances in general, too shy to be in the spotlight that way, everyone said ‘You’ll get used to it’. They lied!! I never did. I’m a little less paralyzed than I used to be by TV and public appearances, but it’s always hard for me. I flew in from Paris on a very delayed flight, fraught with annoyances along the way (an airline strike in Paris, a 3 hour delay, and a slightly less than smooth arrival at the New York airport, late, tired, and with 3 tiny dogs in tow. The hair and makeup people arrived at my hotel, for the show, at 3:30 am, and I arrived at the TV studio for GMA ‘camera ready’ and with 2 hours sleep under my belt—BUT excited to see Robin. It is always, always a huge honor to be on Good Morning America, with Robin. I do very, very few interviews and TV appearances, and refuse any show where they have been hostile or difficult in the past (It happens. Some interviewers think that being aggressive with guests or embarrassing them is ‘cool’ and edgy, and what viewers want to see). Robin Roberts is the exact opposite of that spectrum. She is truly one of the nicest, kindest, most generous, gracious women I know. Her outer beauty is extraordinary, and her inner beauty is even more so. She is the only person alive who actually makes me look forward to doing a show, with her!!!! I’d come through snow, sleet, airline strikes, and delayed flights, and no sleep, to be on a show with her. I can’t even begin to tell you how she radiates ‘goodness’. I feel blessed sitting next to her, and she makes me feel like Queen for a Day. Every appearance with her is unforgettable. This time, to promote my new book “Accidental Heroes”, I love that book, which makes it easier to talk about. (And I hope you’ll love it too). I often speak of the few rare people one meets in a lifetime who are truly special. You know you are with a remarkable human being when you’re with them. They radiate warmth and light. I can count on one hand and few fingers those special people I’ve met. Robin is one of them. I really love and admire her, and I’m always grateful and feel privileged and honored to be on the show with her. And this time, she surprised me at the end, giving me warm fuzzy pink unicorn slippers!!! they are the cutest thing you’ve ever seen!!! I’m going to wear them on long, cold writing nights and think of her!!! She is truly one of the most special people I know, and have ever known. I float off the set afterwards, touched once again by the aura of her kindness. What a gift she is!!!
 

The other event worth mentioning today are the marches in cities all over the country this past Saturday, inspired and organized by the young high school students who survived the school shooting in Parkland, Florida. We are all horrified by these heartbreaking events, which leave a wake of injured and dead students and teachers each time, and broken hearts. We watch from the sidelines, and have since one of the early shootings in Columbine sixteen years ago, and since then, these events have happened again and again. And not just school shootings, but horrifying events like the shooting last year in Las Vegas after a concert. And each time, not only innocent adults, but children and teen agers lie dead, or maimed for life. We all feel helpless, and wish we could do something, anything to help. The politics involved are beyond most of us, and we all mourn the innocent victims. There are so many, too many of these events to mourn and remember now, Sandy Hook only a few years ago, where small children were killed. But this time, the survivors have not vanished into anonymity to repair their broken lives, with tragic memories. This time, the students have found their voice, and will not be forgotten, and refuse to disappear in silence. They have rallied us all, and marched in many cities on Saturday. Their battle cry is “Never Again”, and I believe that their courage will make a difference and bring about change which will benefit us all. In very few years, these young people will be old enough to vote, to demand change, and to effect that change. That school shooting will change their lives and ours, and I add my voice to theirs, “Never Again!!”. It hits close to home for me, as my great niece was the victim of the terrorist bombing in Brussels 2 years ago, and lost both her legs at 17. She was hoping to ride in the equestrian events in the next Olympics, and she is a remarkable, incredibly brave fantastic girl. Two years after the bombing, at 19, she is in rehab at a Naval Facility in the US, graduated from high school, will attend college in the fall, is training with her horse again, and will ride for the USA in the Paralympics. These brave young people who refuse to be beaten will make our future and theirs a better place, and a better world!!! Never Again!!!
 

And I cannot let this week go past without thinking about, and sharing with you, that Easter will be this Sunday. As I always say, it is my favorite religious holiday (other than Christmas, which I love)—-Easter is about the resurrection, and reminds us all to rise from the ashes and heartbreaks and despair in our lives, to be reborn, to reclaim a better life, to be healed from the scars that mark us. May we all feel reborn in some small, or large way, and may these wonderful young people remind us to be strong, courageous, and hopeful.
 

I send you all my love, and wish you a Happy Easter, and healing from any sorrows in your life.

with special love, Danielle

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a warm, cozy, festive Thanksgiving with family and friends, or did something that made the holiday satisfying for you.

Woven in with the joy of family, we had a desperately hard very sad day, and event in our family. The little dog, a Chihuahua, that was the beloved companion of one of my daughters got cancer two years ago, and was cured after an intensive year long course of chemotherapy. She had a year of bouncy good health after that, and in September of this year, was diagnosed with cancer again, this time even more severely, and chemo was started again. This time, she got much sicker, and the chemo took an enormous toll, and after two months she was desperately sick, getting worse, lost a shocking amount of weight (and only started at 4 lbs.), and for the last two weeks could no longer eat. She was wasting away, and her vets advised my daughter that there was no hope of curing or saving her, and the most compassionate thing was to put her to sleep, particularly since she would no longer eat, and her organs were shutting down. It’s a decision we’ve never had to make in the family. We’ve been blessed and all our dogs have died of old age, peacefully, in their sleep. This time, with a dog who should have lived several years longer, and was so much loved by my daughter and all of us, a painful decision had to be made, to spare the dog further suffering.

My children love their dogs passionately, and I am always impressed by what loving, responsible, attentive dog owners they are. Their father loved dogs, as I do, and he insisted when they were very young that they learn to be responsible and care for their dogs. When they were growing up, each child had a dog, and he had two, and eventually I had one—-which meant that at one time, we had eleven dogs. But he taught them well, they are fantastic dog owners to this day, and we’re all dog lovers. My daughter was extraordinary with her sick dog, and took incredible care of her, came home from work several times a day when the dog was sick, sought all the medical help she could get, and was constantly attentive during the first year of chemo, and again in recent months. But sometimes it’s a fight you just can’t win.

I was in Paris when the vets gave my daughter the hardest advice of all, and I flew to New York to be with her. The decision was entirely hers, and such a hard decision. I couldn’t imagine facing that decision, and my heart ached for my daughter. I dropped everything, and ran to be with her. But there was no reprieve for the little dog, the situation was only going to get worse, and very quickly. And in the end, she chose the hardest decision for her, and the most compassionate one for the dog. Another one of my daughters went with her, as I did, and it was a heart wrenching experience, one of the saddest experiences I’ve had, and even harder for my daughter who loved her dog so much. Deciding to put her to sleep was further demonstration of my daughter’s willingness to sacrifice herself for the best solution for the dog. We all loved her dog, and the whole family was sad for both of them, and calling in on the morning we took her to the vet. The three of us (two of my daughters and I) stood and cried rivers, before, during and after the procedure. And for any of you who’ve been through it, you know how hard it is. It was one of the saddest days I’ve ever been through.

If I had one wish in this lifetime, it would be that my children never be sad or have to suffer, and to see my daughter’s suffering and her courage at such a hard time, and the sacrifice she made for the dog’s benefit, just ripped my heart out, and filled me with admiration for her.

Thinking about it afterwards, and sharing it with you, makes me realize too why people relate to my books. Because no matter who you are, or what you have, no matter how successful you are, or what car you drive, or what your job is, or even if you’re famous, in the end, we all care about the same things: our children and the things that affect them, the loss of someone we love, even if it’s a dog, the loss of a job we need, or the end of a relationship, a divorce, or a death, or putting a dog to sleep. In the end, we all care about and cry over the same things. There is no way to prevent these things from happening to us and those we love.

For many of us, our pets have a very special place in our hearts. We love them and cherish them, and they are such loving companions, and even if they live out their normal life span, it is much too short for those of us who love them. In Paris, there are two policemen who assist me at the airport, which in today’s risky times is a comfort. When I left Paris to be with my daughter, they commented on my leaving earlier than planned on short notice. I got the first flight out after she called me, and hadn’t planned to leave yet. I explained where I was going and why, and the biggest and burliest of the policemen, a big powerful man, began to cry as soon as I told him. He had recently had to put his own dog to sleep, and the other one had tears in his eyes when he said he had recently had to do the same with his cat, and said he cried over it for weeks. Big, strong men cry as much as women and children, when we lose our pets. It is a heartbreak like no other, and always comes too soon, like the death of any person we love.

I will long remember this experience and how sad it was. Yet there was a peace and a calm to it, and it was delicately handled by the vet, which was better than if we had had to face the same decision in the middle of the night in a crisis. As painful as it was for us to make the decision and be part of it, it was better than it might have been if the little dog had gotten even sicker. My daughter wanted to avoid that, and I think she was right. But what a terrible decision for her. I respect her enormously for how selflessly she handled it, concerned only with the best she could do for her dog in terrible circumstances.

I’m sure many of you have been down this road. It is a sad, extremely painful decision. My daughter was with her through it all, and her sister and I were with her.

To those of you who’ve been through it, I salute you for your courage, and am so sorry for the pets you lost. And our beloved pets’ lives are always too short. It was a terrible, incredibly hard sad day. And in the midst of fashions shows, or tales of what I do, social comments, or holiday good wishes, there is real life, which touches us all, and bonds us to each other, and takes precedence over everything else. This was a hard, hard slice of real life…..and I will always remember the sweet little face and sweet little dog who gave us so much joy for twelve years. I hope she is in a happy peaceful place now, she was so greatly loved in her lifetime.

with all my love, Danielle

Hi Everyone,

Well, it’s officially fall now. Busy times. I hope all is well with you!!

I was doing some religious reading tonight, about “David and Goliath” experiences, when we are faced with some enormous challenges, and somehow overcome them, with no encouragement from anyone around us. It made me think back to my own experiences in that vein.

When I was very young, a child of 10 or 12, I was very bad at math, and had a tutor, to try and bring my math grades up. She was kind of a severe woman, frustrated with my lack of aptitude, and I hated math—and she told me that I was a “butterfly”, would flit from one thing to the next in my life, and would never amount to anything. French schools in those days, and teachers, were not long on encouragement. But her prediction stuck with me that I would never amount to anything. I believed her. (And I did not improve in math with her help!!)

I wrote my first book at 19, kind of as an experiment to see if I could, and I found I loved doing it. I had always written for pleasure, and never thought of it as a career (I wrote mostly poetry in my teens, but was hoping for a career in design). And by some miracle after writing my first book, I met Alex Haley, the author of Roots, who was an incredibly kind man, and he encouraged me. He was very supportive of young authors, and referred me to his agent. (No one in my close circle or family was interested in my writing a book, and thought it was some kind of aberration and a ridiculous idea. No one thought I could write.). I submitted my book to Alex Haley’s agent, who took forever to read it, and finally told me that writing just wasn’t going to be a career for me. He told me to forget about writing, and discouraged, I had lunch with a friend who was a writer, and told him what a flop I was with my writing. He suggested I show the manuscript to his agent before I gave up entirely, a woman, which I assumed would be hopeless, but I gave it a try, and sent it to her. It was a distinguished agency that represented people like F.Scott Fitzgerald and Agatha Christie. Most of their clients were estates of famous writers, but I gave it a try. She liked the book and agreed to represent me, sold it very quickly, as a paperback original, and I was thrilled. (The book is still in print). The next 5 books I wrote did not sell to any publisher, and I was beginning to think that the first agent was right, that I had no talent and should forget writing. I almost did. And then lo and behold the 7th book I wrote sold, and my writing career slowly, slowly took off—not with any dazzling success, but the books sold steadily, still in paperback. I shared with that agent the dream that one day I would write a hardcover (I was still very young then, since I had started so early. And I was working in advertising, as a copywriter, and writing at night). The agent looked at me with outrage when I said I’d like to publish in hardcover one day, and said “Who do you think you are?” (I can still hear her say it). She saw me as a paperback writer forever, stuck where I was. Her words really stung, and upset me. I was working very hard at what I wrote. I never saw myself as becoming famous one day, I just wanted to do it well, and improve with each book. One of my strengths is persistence and perseverance, once I do something, I stick with it, and want to do it well. Her very sharp comment, which was a put down, stung, and led me to look for another agent. When I found that agent, Mort Janklow, who is still my agent, he took me to heights I had never even dreamed of, and treated my work with enormous respect. He saw the potential there, and helped me achieve it. It’s taken many years of hard work, and has given me a remarkable career I love. (As an aside, my father read one of my books and thought it was junk, and told me not to bother pursuing a career I had no talent for, and my mother never read a single one of my books in her entire life.).

My point is that if I had listened to that tutor when I was 12, maybe I would have amounted to nothing, just as she predicted. If I had listened to the first agent, I would have quit before I started, before I was even published. If I’d listened to the second agent, and shrunk back into the shadows, I would never have been published in hardcover or have the career I do now. We all have naysayers in our lives, but somehow through it all I persisted, I refused to believe them, and like David fighting Goliath, I was the little person, the unknown writer, the shy young girl, but I persisted and persisted and refused to believe them, and stuck with it, and it has given me a wonderful life, doing what I love.  You just can’t listen to the people who want to squash you, and you have to keep on going, no matter what they say.

My last husband, Tom, had a similar experience. He was a lot older than I am, born into a very poor family, in the Depression (they lived on mayonnaise sandwiches in the lean years and couldn’t afford to buy him shoes, he had to wear the ones he outgrew), and he did extremely well in school, with a strong aptitude for science and physics. One of his high school teachers recognized what he believed was genius and asked Tom’s parents to let him apply to college. They were outraged, and wanted him to go to work as soon as he graduated, they said he wasn’t smart enough to go to college. Television was new then, and they wanted him to become a TV repairman, which they thought would be a great job for him with a future. The teacher, in secret from everyone, applied Tom for Harvard and MIT, and Tom was accepted at both with a full scholarship, and went to MIT, and Harvard for graduate school. And he really was a genius. I don’t think Tom’s parents were too pleased at his going to college, instead of getting a job repairing TVs, and bringing in an income right after high school. At 27, five years after he graduated, he had been working on a ‘project’ in his garage, on a tiny budget, and invented a laser which is still in use today. He sold it by mail order out of his garage at first, and made his first fortune from it. In the years afterwards, he started Genentech, helped build Tandem and Compaq, was one of the founding members of Silicon Valley, became a famous venture capitalist, financed AOL, Amazon and countless companies, was one of the first supporters of Google,  worked at Hewlett Packard, and was an inventor, scientist, a famous sailor, a sculptor and was an extraordinary man. (And he returned to give his high school teacher part of his early earnings from his laser, in thanks for what he had done for him, applying him to MIT).He had a dazzling career, and if he had listened to his parents, he would have been a TV repairman. If the high school teacher hadn’t had the courage and determination he did, Tom would never have gone to college. Tom led a fascinating life, and had an extraordinary career. Tom Perkins. He died last year after a remarkable life.

If we had listened to the people who didn’t believe in us, I’d never have written a 2nd book, and Tom would probably have been the smartest TV repairman in his town, and his genius would have been wasted. And I’d never have had the career that I have enjoyed for all of my adult life. We all have those negative people in our lives, who tell us we can’t do it. They’re so easy to find. It’s much harder to find people to encourage us. And sometimes, often, we have no one to encourage us at all. And we all feel so small faced with the obstacles. The obstacles seem so much bigger than any chance of success.

Whatever it is you’re doing, or want to do, or dream of doing, don’t let those negative people hold you back. Don’t let them stop you. Don’t let them rob you of the chance to do something you love. David took Goliath out with a simple slingshot. Believe that whatever it is you want to do, you can!!! Don’t let anyone stop you!! It’s something to think about.

Have a great week!!

love, Danielle

Am taking a week’s vacation, which I only do about once a year. My apologies!!!….talk to you next week!!!

love, Danielle

Hi Everyone,

I hope you had a terrific week. I’ve been busy, writing a lot, and am on the move again. I was saddened by the recent act of violence in France, and I hope that the French elections will happen peacefully.

I had an experience last week that was so frustrating I wanted to share it with you, as I think we all run into similar experiences now. One of my children needed some ongoing health maintenance care (nothing too serious, but worth doing), and I decided to contact both of the big highly respected university hospitals in San Francisco. Both offer top notch care and are respected well known institutions. I didn’t have a name of who to call, so decided to call the right department in each hospital, which seemed like a simple project, to gather information, and who might offer the most appropriate options for health care. It was not a life threatening situation, but important enough to me to warrant some research on the subject. And bluntly put, I ran into a wall. A call that should have taken maybe ten minutes to each hospital, took me SIX AND A HALF HOURS of constant calling and total frustration before I ever got to speak to a human at one hospital, and never got to one at all at the other. I went from one robot voice to the next, got shifted into dead end extensions, reached voice mails in some cases, pressed buttons, called new numbers, and it went on and on and on and on, until I finally reached a human at one of the two hospitals, and no one at the other. At the hospital where I got no human after all my calls, someone finally called me back the next day to tell me that my child had JUST missed the age cut off and they made no exceptions, that they were not accepting new patients anyway, but would call me back in six months, in October, to then put us on a wait list which was going to be at least six months long, but I MIGHT be able to get an appointment NEXT April, maybe, but maybe not until next July (NOT this July!!). So we’re talking about waiting 12 to 15 months before we could see a doctor. At the other hospital, when I finally reached a living person and not a recording or a robot after six and a half hours on the phone, they gave me great information, had someone call me back within the hour who was absolutely wonderful and we got an appointment for 3 days later. What a difference between the two, but I still had to spend almost seven hours on the phone, determined to fight my way through the maze of cyberhell to get the information we needed. I dropped everything I was doing that day to do it. What happens if you don’t have the time or patience, can’t spend 7 hours on the phone, don’t understand the messages or the system, or never get lucky enough to reach a human? What do people do? Forget it? Give up? Not get medical help when they need it? I don’t think my experience was unique. And what are you supposed to do with a 15 month wait to see a doctor?? It reminded me of when I was working on the streets with the homeless, would refer them for medical care, and they would sometimes be put on a wait list for 8 to 18 months, most of them would have been dead at the end of that time, and some were. I think it’s a terrible statement about how we have mis-used technology, to build an impenetrable wall around services we need, medical people we can’t reach, where we get fobbed off with waiting lists of more than a year, IF they even bother to call you back. What happens to people who don’t understand the messages, can’t make themselves understood to a robot, and just don’t have the tenacity or skills to get through? I became so determined I was not going to give up until I got someone. It also showed me the difference between the two institutions, one where they leapt in to help us once I reached them, the other where they simply didn’t care and fobbed us off for 15 months, or would have, except that we had missed the age limit by a few months. Then what?? You just live with the problem. In the era of high technology health care, with such enormous advancements in science and health and new information, what good does it do us if we can’t even reach health care providers, and get pushed off on a wait list for more than a year? I found the whole experience shocking. And I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I was to actually reach a human, who was nice, helpful, and gave us an appointment.

And if this is how we treat humans now at medical institutions, I can’t even think about what it is like trying to get your washing machine repaired or call a plumber. Everything is voice mail and robots now, press #1 for this and #5 for that, where you get nowhere and no one calls you back, or it disconnects, or shifts you entirely into the wrong service, and there is no one to explain it to. There is something VERY wrong with our systems if we have used technology to make life this complicated, and replaced human beings with machines that don’t “get it”. Whose life have we simplified with this?? Certainly not ours. I was so grateful for the help I got, and shocked at how hard it was to cut through the red tape in Cyberhell. What can we do about it? How can we change it? Is this how it’s going to be now? It was one of the most frustrating experiences I’ve had in years, and I think we all run into it now. Some of the old systems, which actually used humans, worked so much better!!!

Have a great week, and stay out of Cyberhell, if we can!!

love, Danielle