2/13/23, Be My Valentine

Hi Everyone,

I hope that all is well with you, and you’re having fun. This week is the Valentine Lottery, so to speak, hoping you get cards, flowers, dinner, chocolates, and maybe even an engagement ring!! My first big Valentine disappointment was in third grade, when I was the only girl in class who didn’t get a Valentine, but I made up for it in later years, when I got two Valentine’s Day marriage proposals. One lasted for eighteen years, and the other one for eight. that’s pretty respectable by today’s standards, and the proposals were wonderfully romantic. And so were the weddings that resulted.

I’ve had some truly inglorious years with no flowers, no chocolates and no marriage proposals (although my children always come through for me and spoil me!! And I spoil them too). There is definitely something very exciting and romantic about Valentine gifts, but some men just aren’t into it, and consider it crass commercialism and avoid the date entirely. And I’ve given and received some outrageously funny Valentine cards, refusing to take the date seriously. That is definitely one way to handle the date. The worst possible way to handle the date is to sit at home, crying. I went to mass one year on Valentine’s Day, and the priest asked all couples to stand up so we could see them, and celebrate them and congratulate them. And then he asked all the single people to stand up, and I felt as though he were saying “We want to take a good look at you losers”. Standing up there alone, with people staring me was definitely a low point in my Valentine history.

There are such strong expectations on Valentine’s Day, if no one makes any romantic moves, and no one proposes, it definitely feels like you lost the Valentine lottery. The night before my first Valentine proposal, I gave a Valentine Dance that was a huge amount of fun, I wore a terrific red dress, and everything came together and my husband proposed. I don’t even know who I would invite to a Valentine Dance to today, although I love the idea, I love to dance, and I had a lot of fun at that dance, and the proposal came as a wonderful surprise!!! today, my friends have either settled into couples long since, or have parted company with their mates, or have settled into looser, more unofficial relationships that seem to work with them, and a few claim they are happier alone. There is not quite the feeling of expectation more typical in one’s twenties or thirties. But it’s never too late, and some couples find each other late in life (sometimes even a person they went to school with and have reconnected with, once they are free again.)

Many years ago, I gave a very funny Valentine dinner. I invited a group of people, I think a dozen of them, and each one had to bring someone that they were happy to introduce to others, thought they were a nice person, but had no interest in dating them. It was a fun evening, and I think four or five new couples resulted from it. It was a creative way to meet new people!!

This year, I am trying something different. I am having lunch with five friends whom I thoroughly enjoy and love dearly, and it will be a joy to have lunch with them. Two are married, one is separated, one is widowed, one divorced, and one is in a long term relationship. It will be warm and fun to be with them, we all know each other well and are good friends, and maybe the best way to spend a special day, if romance isn’t in the air, is to spend it with friends you love. And you just never know what surprises life will have in store for you next year!!! Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, with whoever you spend it with, a child, a friend, a spouse or a lover, and have a great week!!!

all my love, Danielle

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4 Comments so far
  1. Gary Colllier February 15, 2023 4:38 am

    2/15/2023 Hi Danielle , It has been nearly 40 years ( 39) Since that Valentines Day that I was to drive your Cute Daughter Beatrix to her Private Party down . I saw Her about a week or so before that date and could sense something in her , something that I liked . I was so excited on that Valentines day that I could not sit still so I went out for a motorcycle ride . Well that motorcycle ride took a unexpected turn , in more than one way , on one corner on a road I did not know at the time the road dipped down kind of like a pot hole but it was the whole road , so my rear shocks compressed like they should but then sprung back up too fast while I was leaned over so the rear end of the motorcycle just went out from under me . The result was me hitting the pavement in the blink of an eye . I slid about 80 feet into the on coming lane and off into the dire on the other side of the road. Luckily there were no cars coming up the opposite side during my crash . Within minutes someone came by with a truck and I was able to talk him into putting the motorcycle in the back of his truck and driving me all the way up to San Francisco an hour away . ( I had a very important work date after all ) . When I got back into my apartment to clean up to come and Drive for Beatrix as I got undressed and pulled off my leg warmers I noticed that I had split my lower leg open and could see my shin bone. I was not bleeding anymore as the leg warmer had gone in and helped sealed up the wound . I was still so excited to drive for Beatrix that I called you ( one of the biggest mistakes of my life ) , and told you what happened and that I would drive Beatrix to her party and then to the hospital to get stitched up and then return to drive her back up . I remember our conversation to this very day , you were very concerned and told me to go to the hospital and that you will find another way to get Beatrix to her party and you said you will call me to drive for you again soon . It has now been nearly 40 years ! Every Valentines day the tears come back . I still wait for your phone call . ( Although now I do not think my cell phone will accept a call from Europe until I pay more to get onto another level of cell service , which I will do for you ) . Every year several times during the year I wish I can talk with your and Beatrix . Your Chauffeur Gary R. Collier e-mail is clist305@gmail.com cell phone number is 669-500-9572

  2. Gary Collier February 15, 2023 4:45 am

    Danielle I miss typed in my cell phone number , it is ( 669) 500 – 9571 .
    I misspelled a couple of words as well ( I am not a writer , I am a Driver after all )
    Anyway Please come and see me , and your Daughter Beatrix too . I live in Morgan Hill at the present time .

  3. Zineb February 17, 2023 2:16 pm


    As a newly published author, I’ve—for some time now—researched much about your writing routine and have come to love it. I highly respect your passion and your ability to work so hard. It has become a goal of mine to work as hard as you do. I am lucky enough to have as much time as I do for writing. Seeing you, I do plan on using this time, well.

    Today, I came to this blog for a reason, more specifically, a question. Out of the blue, a question for you appeared in my mind and I had to say it. I wanted to ask you if you wrote while listening to music or in complete silence? (Personally, I could not write without listening to music.)

    I hope you are spending a good day.

    – Zineb

  4. Lynne Stoltz February 21, 2023 10:19 am

    I remember receiving an answer from you after I asked a question regards your movies Iand truly, I was honoured to receive a reply, actually shocked. I realize that was a very long time ago, but, now, I am producing movies. I’m an author, screenwriter & producer, I’ve been called the Canadian Danielle Steel. Hardly, but Danny Glover said, Lynne rips your heart out and puts it back nice and neat. Humbling. My company, Have Faith Productions recently release the film “Sons 2 The Grave” with AppleTV, Amazon Prime etc. to very high ratings. A blessing. Our next project is “The Other Side of The Bed” the reason for this note. I want the film to have the heart and relatability as your TV movies had. I know these are different times, but I believe your guidance as executive producer would secure the subject of the film would be what I envisioned. My first book, Loud Silence was to be the next project a few years ago, with Maya Angelou, attached to direct, just before her passing & Alfre Woodard. We will be returning to this project after “The other Side of The Bed.” Finding the right director for the film is important. I know you hardly need to not only answer this or to add to your work load, but I thought I would ask for a moment of your time. Stay blessed, Lynne