Now that we’re getting to know each other a little better, I will confess that I have an extremely silly sense of humor. (After years and years of eating with children, one of my favorite foods is peanut butter. And after the same number of years of hanging out with my kids, occasionally my sense of humor got stuck in fourth grade, possibly even third grade. My kids grew up, I didn’t). It’s probably genetic. I come from a long line of practical jokers—which I am NOT! I hate jokes that embarrass people, but I do like a good laugh. My oldest daughter has an outrageous sense of humor too. She dressed as a pumpkin for Halloween one year, painted her face orange and dyed her hair green. It was a great costume, until she discovered the next day that the orange color on her face wouldn’t come off—-for the next 3 weeks! (She works in a hospital, and they sent her home, thinking she was jaundiced.) My other children demonstrate the same inclination, and April Fool is a nightmare at our house. Every year, at least two of the unmarried ones call to tell me that they’re pregnant, and three to say they’re in jail. And I always fall for the first three calls until I realize what day it is.
So that brings us to Halloween. For years I have dressed as a witch on Halloween, which means anything black I find in my closet, a witch hat from the five and dime, and a red rhinestone broom that sits at the back of my closet all year. It’s gotten pretty boring and has become predictable. The last fun costume I wore was my daughter’s school uniform when she was about 7, and she went as me. But this year, I found a costume I just could not resist. While one of my employees was browsing the Internet for a Halloween costume, I spotted this one over her shoulder….and I ordered it. Okay, guess—-what I am going to be this year? A fairy princess? Dracula? Little Bo Peep? Wonderwoman? NO!!!…..I’m going to be a whoopee cushion for Halloween. I love the costume! And to make matters worse, I am going to have a remote controlled device in the pocket to add the sound effects. It is unbelievably funny and rude. (I’m going to wear it for a brief trick or treat experience with one of my children, and at home for family dinner with 3 of my kids, who still come home for dinner on Halloween.)
There is history here. Like April Fool, my children always went all out for Halloween. But beyond that, they always thought that whoopee cushions were the funniest thing in the world, and loved slipping them into people’s seats. Gales of laughter ensued (mostly from my children). And there was a time long ago, when I always had a spare diaper, a bunch of lollipops, and a whoopee cushion in my purse. And now here we are, all these years later, and I’m going to be one. So now you know one of my secrets. I have a six year old sense of humor.
I took to heart a long time ago the saying “Live long enough to become an embarrassment to your children”. I think I’m there. I hope you’ll forgive me the irreverence and bad taste. I promise, next year I’ll go back to being a witch. Unless….I have so much fun as a whoopee cushion that I have to be a whoopee cushion again next year. Trick or treat!!!