Ground Hog Day

Whenever I see that date on a calendar, I think of the movie of the same name, Ground Hog Day, and it reminds me of my own life. In the movie, Bill Murray, the actor, kept living the same day over and over and over again. Every time he woke up, he was living the same day again. The concept is pretty funny—-except when it happens in real life.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to make many of the same mistakes again and again, and again. It’s not that I’m unaware of them, but our patterns are so hard to change. I have gone to groups, done a lot of soul searching, read self help books, and REALLY worked hard at changing some of the things I do. And some of it has worked, but sometimes, more often than I like, I find myself doing the same unconstructive thing again, let people get away with things they shouldn’t, being too cowardly (myself) to speak up when someone is standing squarely on my toes, or just doing the same things myself. I don’t want to. I’m aware, but our old habits die hard, and sometimes I hear my own voice and think, OH NO!!! Not that again. I guess life will be a work in progress til the end.

I suppose we need to be compassionate with ourselves and others, for repeating the same mistakes. (No, a husband who beats you up repeatedly is not suffering from Ground Hog Day, he’s a sick person who needs help and you need to get away from. But your allowing him to do so, again and again, and not leaving him, although complicated and due to your own history—-there’s a little bit of Ground Hog Day to that).

I’d so much rather make new mistakes, than do the same stupid things again. We probably all do it. But I really don’t want to ride into the sunset one day, or be l00 years old, and still be doing the same dumb stuff I did at 20. Personally, I think we should cancel Ground Hog Day. I want a fresh slate, wiped clean of the old mistakes, so I don’t repeat them again!!! Today is a new day.  I hope you have a great one!

Love, Danielle

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9 Comments so far
  1. cathi March 14, 2011 4:03 pm

    You’d think we would learn from our mistakes, I too make alot of the same ones over and over – but little by little I TRY not to keep making them and I think as long as we give it a good shot, we’ll eventually figure it all out…wonderful post, Danielle! Happy day to you too! xxoo

  2. dawn brumwell March 16, 2011 1:03 pm

    Dear danielle steel,Ive just read your blog entitled groundhog day i sometimes feel that i have one of those days everyday and i can relate to everything you wrote. xxx

  3. Deana March 17, 2011 10:54 am

    is this the New Book it sound like the Movie or is that the way it going to be.

  4. susie March 17, 2011 8:04 pm

    It can be tough not to repeat patterns or mistakes in relationships. But I think awareness is the first step. Once we have that, I think that is half the battle. As long as we keep trying, we will figure it out.

  5. tsion isayas March 18, 2011 11:09 am

    hello,I am from Ethiopia, East africa & 3rd year graduate student at bahirdar university one of Ethiopian city. I am so much interested & grown up by reading your book, today I have a plan to do my senior or graduation paper with one of my favorite book ANSWERED PRAYER, so i need your advice,permision & what is the life experience between you and story of the book?
    specially since I am a female,I would like to write more detail about faith feminism part. maybe it might be one step up or bring some change in womens life my country.
    finally i am thinking to leave some invetation to you please please & please visit Ethiopia. since we are one of the ancient country you might be can get so many idea
    its so nice if I get any kind of respond. thank you, again thank for your time.
    Tsion(zion) isayas your life time admire & die hard fan.

  6. Kimberly March 20, 2011 11:50 am

    So very true…

  7. Comportementaliste picardie March 21, 2011 12:58 am

    I just want to say that I have read many of your books, congratulations, I love them!

  8. Marcia March 31, 2011 10:08 am

    It is difficult to change patterns, but not impossible. The foundation is self-esettem. You have to assess why you allow yourself to undermine your self in ways that you intellectually know are not in your best interest. You have to “practice” tough love on yourself, speak to yourself like adult to child, if you will, and eventually you come around.

    I am all for compassion, but I think we use the word “compassion” too much as an excuse for failure, for short comings. Compassion should be for the really serious caess where it must be applied–when a person is really in a distressed state. Otherwise, it can “morph” into constant excuse making.

    Yes, there are times to be harsh–with oneself. Yes, there are times to see the world in black and white, and to be one’s own best drill sargeant. Speaking of the military, have you ever sometimes heard of “lost youth” joining the forces and really straightening their lives out? In no way here am I at all advocating war-military-drafts or anything like that–there is no hidden pro-anything in what I say except pro discipline.

    You have Free Will. You can change your life at any time, in any way you want, IF you put Mind over Matter and you really play strict with yourself. DO NOT follow “emotions” at every turn. Don’t blow about with the wind, with melancholy–writer/artist or not. Analyze feelings before you act. Think before you act. You can do it. In no way are you “condemned” to certain behaviors.

    All the best, Madame Steele, you are a class act!

    Elsewhere in Europe

  9. Zeljana April 6, 2011 3:46 pm

    I absolutely agree with you, Danielle! I am the same way. Sometimes I’m too nice or too shy to say “Back off” or “No”. And then I get upset at myself and promise I’ll stand up for myself more and then I repeat the same mistake. I let myself down more than I don’t. We as humans are so complex and hard to understand that breaking old patterns of behavior can be a lifelong challenge. Yet we’re never to old or too narrow-minded to change. With little steps it’s possible to improve! (I try…)

    (And thanks for the new book! I’ll be sure to check it out very soon!)