9/26/22, REALLY?

Hi Everyone,

I hope you’ve had a good week, and it hasn’t been too difficult. We’ve all watched the British royal family suffer nobly through eleven days of agonizingly exhausting highly emotional ceremonies surrounding their queen’s funeral, and not just a Queen, but a mother, grandmother and great grandmother. And on the final days, they had at least 12 hours daily of marching, walking, sitting, listening, and wiping away tears, under the constant scrutiny of the Press. We watched the new King, with all the stress and pressure that must entail, watch his mother’s casket being lowered into the crypt. My daughter was so moved by it that she couldn’t stop crying. Imagine how he felt, with billions of people watching him at such a private, heartbreaking moment, watching his mother disappear. And in our own family, it was the anniversary of my son’s death this week, the day after the Queen’s funeral. It’s a day that breaks my heart every year, and my family’s. Last week was not an easy week for any of us. And I hope this week will be better.

What struck me reading some of the press coverage of the funeral was how critical some people are. What has happened to us that people are so free and easy with saying nasty things about other people, with such fervor!!! Where do we get off being so tough on everyone else? Who made us the arbiters of fashion, taste and everything else? I read a flood of nasty comments about the headpiece (fascinator) that Mrs. Biden wore to the funeral. I have no political stake in it, and I actually thought it looked nice on her. I read a flood of comments that it was inappropriate at a funeral—-WHO SAID??? If you looked at the crowd, there were every kind of hats, some gorgeous (Princess Kate’s on the day of the funeral), some beautiful, some silly or funny, and some ugly, and I would guess that about 10% of them were wearing headpieces just like Mrs. Biden’s. Let’s be real here, they had to go to a state funeral where they would be under total scrutiny, which means that people would be commenting on whether her suit was appropriate, if she looked fat or thin in it, how much did she spend on it. She had a long flight to London, had to emerge from the plane looking chic and well dressed, no matter how tired she was, or if she slept or not (I look a complete MESS when I get off a plane), and she had to go straight from the plane to the funeral, while worrying how she looked to cameras, if people thought she looked okay or if she got a run in her stocking—–and people were upset about her headband? which I repeat, I thought looked both appropriate and chic. But what is wrong with us? Where is our compassion and our sympathy, we don’t care how tired she might have been, or nervous, or sad—-and people have to complain about her headband?? WHY? How do you look getting off a plane, how do you feel going to a funeral where you will be videoed for hours and everyone will have some comment to make about your outfit? Why can’t we give people a break? We live in a cult of fame and celebrity, where every waking moment is on Instagram or Facebook or some form of social media, and all we do is criticize how people look, how their hair looked, how big their bottom is, how ugly their dress was. Do we really HAVE to criticize every move that people make, what they wear, what they eat, who they date, and how bad their hair looks. I think it’s time to back off and show a little compassion—-and think how complicated our own lives are, and realize that other people’s lives are just as complicated or more so, and what their headgear looks like really doesn’t matter. How great would you look coming off an all night plane ride, with a big time difference, heading into a state funeral where EVERYONE is going to comment on what you’re wearing, how you look and what you’re doing. I think it’s time that we give each other a break. You didn’t like Mrs. Biden’s fascinator? Ok, then don’t buy one just like it, and next time you go to a funeral, make sure that you look perfect, and wear a hat. Let’s lighten up on the nasty criticism…..it will make life a little or a lot better. Have a great week, and let’s try to be nice to each other.

love, Danielle

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5 Comments so far
  1. Vera Birchall September 26, 2022 12:15 pm

    Dear Danielle
    I have have been watching the very emotional events this week surrounding the queen’s funeral. It made me want to read your book ‘Royal’. I have read over thirty of your books but ‘Royal’is definitely the best I have read.

  2. Mary September 26, 2022 1:22 pm

    Well said.

  3. Stephanie O. September 30, 2022 10:21 am

    Very well said. It feels like some people don’t live unless they can criticize others.
    I don’t get the world we live in anymore.

    Too much time is spent looking at others. They’re too much this too much that while we don’t really know what they’re going through.

    Lots of people have comments on rich people, royals… Frankly, I wouldn’t want to be standing in their shoes. They have money, but they are never alone or at peace, their every move is scrutinized.

    Your post here says it all, I hope the coming weeks, will bring you and your family lots of good things.

  4. Beatrice October 1, 2022 5:49 am

    Dear Danielle,
    I think a lot of people don’t feel good about themselves and it somehow reassures them to criticize others. Ideally, they would change their own lives, and if they read your books, chances are they will find the strength to start doing that.
    Sometimes I catch myself criticizing people (in my mind though, not writing comments!), and when I do, I try and reverse the situation and find nice things to say about them. Now THAT reverse process really makes me feel great!!
    Thank you for pointing that out.
    Have a wonderful day!
    p.s. I just finished reading FALL FROM GRACE. When Sydney has to stay in her apartment: it reminded me of Covid—only a couple of years early!

  5. James October 3, 2022 5:41 am

    well said Danielle,
    There is something that i need help with