5/4/15, “The Sun Will Shine Through Rain” (Nick Traina)
I’m sorry I was a no show last week, I was busy writing, and am very happy with what I’ve been working on, and I hope you will be too. Writing is often where I take refuge from real life, and my own problems, it’s a world where I am comfortable, feel at ease, know how to solve the problems in the story, and sometimes when the writing soars, it is pure joy. After doing it for a long time, I still thoroughly enjoy what I do, even though it’s hard work and challenging at times, and even exhausting when I work 20 hour stretches on my old typewriter. Sometimes it’s almost like flying, as you rise above the clouds, and see things more clearly, about life, and intricate situations. And I always fall in love with the characters in the book, and they become real to me, just as they do to you. It’s probably because they do seem real to me that you feel that way too when you read the books. The characters I write about are always fictional, because it would be too limiting to base them on real people. So I’ve been having a great time writing, and I hope you like the book when you read it. (I never tell the story or the title beforehand. It’s more fun to keep it a surprise!! But I think you will love this one, as I do!!)
Other than that (the fun I had writing), I think it’s official, it was a tough week. There are worse things than having a bad week, but enough challenging things happened to finally make me say, okay…..this week was pretty damn hard. Some unexpected disappointments, a couple of worries, a few really unpleasant moments, a betrayal by people I trusted, which is always a heart breaking experience to some degree. Nothing was easy, everything was hard. When I was a kid, I had cousins in Spain, and when I visited them, at times they thought it was fun to open the window at night, in the country, bats would fly in, and they would bat them back out as they flew in, with their tennis rackets. A truly disgusting sport I never participated in with them. But this week was rather like that, the bats were flying in the window faster than I could bat them out. (And frankly, bats terrify me!! Yuk!!). I think the bats won this week, but you start all over again, and next week will undoubtedly be better. And along with the bad stuff, there are always unexpected touching moments. Nothing terrible happened this week, fortunately. It was just a lot of the kind of stuff that wears you down, and discourages you for a minute. It was a discouraging week. You have them too, I know (which is why the books resonate for you). And problems are like grapes, they always seem to come in bunches. On the up side this week was my writing, on the down side was real life.
To top it off, last Friday was my late son Nick’s birthday, May 1st. May Day is a happy day, lily of the valley (my favorite flower) is the symbol of the day, and his birthday was always a happy event. (He loved a party, and LOVED his birthday!!) The day is bittersweet now, because his absence is so sorely felt and we miss him so much. It’s a day filled with memories, and no matter how hard one tries to be philosophical about it, and grateful for the good times, the reality is that he’s gone, and that will always hurt, especially on special days, like his birthday. He was basically a happy person, with a wild sense of humor, and a huge heart, and a huge talent (for writing and music). He was a very bright light in our world, a brief comet across our skies, too brief, but that’s how comets are. They shoot through the sky, and too quickly they are gone. But he left us with powerful memories, and a million treasured moments, of happy times with him. It’s hard to be sad for long when you think about him (He had an enormous smile, laughed a lot, and made us laugh outrageously at times). But it was a hard day at the end of a hard week. As I always do, I had dinner with a few close friends that night, and we had a warm, cozy evening, and after spending time with friends, I felt better by the end of it. And my other children and I spoke many times during the day, and talked about Nick.
And Life always has a way of giving us unexpected gifts. Out of the blue, a friend of mine sent me some of the lyrics of one of Nick’s songs that he wrote, which said just what I needed to hear, in Nick’s own words:
“..everyone sees hardship
and everyone feels pain
and if anyone knows
you and me
that sun will shine through rain..
..and my shoulder is always
if you ever need to cry,
everything will turn out fine
because I will
always love you
until the day I die. ”
– Nick Traina
So, it’s a new week, and it IS going to be a good one, for all of us. We start fresh again, in hope and faith. NO BATS PLEASE!! I refuse to play that game again. Take good care, and may it be an easy happy week for you, filled with good news and joy!! Mother’s Day is at the end of this week. I hope it’s a good one!!! May it all be good this week!!
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You are a very good writer but I think you are a even better mother. God bless you.
I love you, Danielle. You’re so inspiring. God bless you & your beautiful family. Keep writing. I find so much peace in your words. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this with us.
The love between you and Nick is still there and you will always be connected to him through love.
I found this passage you wrote in the front of one of your books which I can’t remember. I was moved to the core by it and shared it with several people who were all moved too.
I only had one negative response from it and it was from a parent who treated me poorly. Interesting that it had that effect on her thinking.
But I want to post it here as it is appropriate for this passage. Sometimes when you send love out it comes back to you. May it bring us all comfort and healing.
“My journey has been long. I do not regret it. At times, it has been dark, a perilous course. At other times, joyous, dappled with sunlight. It has been hard more often than easy.
The road was fraught with dangers for me from the beginning, the forest thick, the mountains high, the darkness terrifying. And through it all, even in the mists, a small pinpoint of light, a tiny star to guide me.
I have been both wise and foolish. I have been loved, betrayed, and abandoned. And much to my despair, I have unwittingly wounded others, and humbly beg their forgiveness. I have forgiven those who have hurt me as I pray they will forgive me for allowing them to hurt me. I have loved much, and given my whole heart and soul. And even when badly wounded, have continued on the path, with faith, and hope, and even blind belief, toward love and freedom. The journey continues, easier than it has been.
For those of you still lost in the darkness, may your traveling companions treat you well. May you find safe havens when you need them, and clearings in the forest. May you find cool waters where you can safely drink, quench your thirst, and bathe your wounds. And may you one day find healing.
When we meet, our hands will join, and we will know each other. The light is there, waiting for us. We must each, in our own way, journey on until we find it. To reach it, we will need determination, strength and courage, gratitude and patience. And after all that, wisdom. And at the journey’s end, we will find ourselves, we will find peace, and the love that, until now, we have only dreamed of.
May God speed you on your journey, and protect you.
Truth, Wisdom, Love and Sincerity, to ALL Mankind.
I love the bat analogy! My mother-in-law lives in a large, older house, and is troubled two or three times a year by a bat who swoops in an terrifies her. (She keeps a badminton racket in her kitchen and has her best friend’s number on speed dial. When the bat appears, she calls her best friend to come over and chase the bat with the racket). Isn’t life like that? You go along in your routine for days and then a bat swoops in and terrifies you.
I hope that you have a wonderful Mother’s Day, that you are able to treasure all the wonderful memories of your son, Nick, and that we all have a bat-free remainder of spring!
my heart goes out to you. I lost my son a year ago and totally understand that some days are much harder than others and the loss is always felt- just not the same afterwards
Danielle, thank you for the beautiful book about Nick. I cried when I read it. Your talent with words allowed for a brilliant book filled with memories and mostly love. A Nothers love. Very different than any other kind of love.
I have six children. I love them beyond words. My first daughter too died by suicide. My heart is broken. My family is scattered now. I wish I could fix everything. Please offer some words of advice for me. My husband is a videographer and made DSL months before she passed. A prediction perhaps. I hope you watch it. Alexstory.org It’s strange how life unfolds. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a part of this group we are in. Have a beautiful day lovely lady,
Traci. Mother of 5 now…
Ps I live up the road in Napa,ca.
Hi Danielle I love your books but I have to say I almost put the book down because the language was so bad but I loved the story line and was not disappointed! Couldn’t you have written the same story without all the cursing? This was Going Home.
I love your books so much dainelle. I have read a lot of your books but there are so many more that I can’t wait to or read. One of my favorite book is The Kiss and story of nick trainor her son. It had me crying. But all her books either make me cry or ldugh. I really get deep into her books like I’m in the story. I see it and I feel it. Thank you Dainelle Steele. I love you
Dear Danielle, The moment I saw your story of Nick’s life I bought it and couldn’t put it down. You see, I lost my son Joe to suicide on 9/20/94. He would have turned 17 on Christmas day. Like Nick he had an infectious smile and was so loving and friendly. He brought so much joy to all of us who loved him.
Anniversaries are still hard, even after all these years. I thank God everyday for letting me have him for the short time he was on this earth. Your book touched me deeply and I just wanted to thank you. You and your family are in my prayers.