Archive for 2018

1/17/18, “Mixed Bag”

Posted on January 17, 2018

Hi Everyone,

I was reading from Joel Osteen tonight—he always inspires me, and something I read struck me as important. “Everything you say matters. Something you say may seem insignificant to you, but to someone else, it may be life changing.” I find that to be so true, both positively and negatively. Particularly with one’s children, but with other people too. Something we may say casually goes right to someone’s heart. I still remember a math tutor I had, who told me at about the age of 12 that I would never amount to anything, and it stuck with me for a long time, and fortunately proved to be untrue. A family member said some really cruel things to me as a child that stayed in my mind for years—almost like a curse, and I had to overcome those words. And in the same vein, we can encourage people, with a few warm, kind words. We need to use our words well, it can make a huge difference to someone, especially if we offer a kind word at what we may not even know is a low point for them.

This time of year is high writing season for me (it’s nice to stay home in the cold weather), and it’s also my ‘homebody’ season, when I stay home on cold rainy days, putter around the house and get things done that I’ve meant to get to for a while. Hang a painting, clean out a closet, tidy up my desk, make calls I’ve been meaning to make. I love having at home time to do that. I’m really enjoying my new home, and am still settling in.

Doing something as complex and complicated as a move to a new home brought me in contact with many suppliers I wasn’t familiar with, and hadn’t used before, but needed to complete the process, IT people, Internet and phone installers, movers, carpet cleaners, painters, curtain installers, someone to install a movie projector, so my kids could watch movies/DVD’s at home. Some of it was pretty simple stuff, and some of it more complicated. As a woman alone, one sometimes appears vulnerable, and the whole process has been a lesson in human nature. Some people simply cannot resist taking advantage, and others do a fantastic job. I’ve had some real battles to face, which has taken patience. In all, two of the suppliers were outstanding, and did way more than expected, and didn’t charge a penny extra for it. Others couldn’t resist the temptation to cross the line, and padded bills, flat out lied, didn’t show up and weren’t reliable, and didn’t do what they promised at all. In each case, I tried to be patient and reasonable, and sometimes had to get tough about a blatantly dishonest bill, or a supplier who had gotten paid, and then didn’t do the job. It’s disappointing when people do that. Maybe they thought I wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t make a fuss about it. But after several months of it, when I see an irregularity now, or a ‘cheat’ on a bill, I put my foot down, and in one or two cases, it took a lawyer to get things back in line. It will make me much more cautious in future about whom I trust, what I pay for, and expecting people to do the job they promised!! And with so many suppliers and tradesmen involved in a move, there’s a lot of opportunity to wind up with some bad ones in the mix. And some VERY good ones, which I am grateful for!!! Even more grateful than before.

I can’t help noticing too, and commenting on, what a terrible beating California has taken with fires both North and South, floods, mud slides, and even a recent earthquake in Northern California. Many of the stories are truly horrible from the fires, with so many homes lost, and all their personal treasures, or loved ones, lost. And now the victims of the mud slides are equally poignant, with loss of life, and so many homes. My heart goes out to everyone affected, and all the victims. I hope the planet will calm down now!!!

I hope the year is off to a good start for you, whether you are hibernating, or out having fun!!!
Have a great week!!!

love, Danielle

1/8/18, Golden Years

Posted on January 8, 2018

Hi Everyone,

I hope that 2018 is off to a great start for you, and that the year has begun smoothly. Getting through the holidays is something of a mad dash, and then there seems to be a lull at the beginning of the year, when things are quiet for a while, and nothing much happens.

I’ve never liked new year’s resolutions, and making promises that are hard to live up to, I may not keep, and probably won’t. And I almost always ignore the flood of jokes, wisdoms, and ‘clever’ things that people send me from the Internet, although some of them are very funny. But a friend in Europe recently sent me a list of suggestions of ‘rules to live by’ for one’s golden years, from the Internet, that I actually liked a lot. 20 suggestions that caught my attention, and actually sounded like wise advice, at every age, so I’m passing them on to you. I don’t know the source, but I really thought the list worthwhile. I’m not sure when the ‘golden years’ begin, or how golden they really are. It’s an art to age gracefully, to be a good sport as one watches one’s kids grow up and fly off to their own lives. But suddenly one day, the kids are grown, and you wonder where the time went, and how life has gone so quickly. Some people get crabby about it, or sad, or bitter, while others face it admirably with energy and grace. I always admire older people who are busy, active, and have a positive outlook on life. Good health is a vital part of it, but a good attitude about whatever stage of life one is at seems essential. So for what it’s worth, I’m passing the list on to you. I really liked it.

RULES FOR OUR GOLDEN YEARS. Things to think about.

1. Use the money you have saved. Use it and take advantage of it and enjoy it.
Don’t save it for those who have no idea of the sacrifices you made to earn it. Take advantage of and enjoy the present.

2. Stop worrying, about your children and grandchildren. You’ve taken care of them for many years. You gave them an education. They are responsible now for themselves.

3. Maintain a healthy life, with moderate exercise. Eat well, walk, respect your sleep, since its harder now to stay in perfect health. Stay informed about your health, without excess.

4. Always buy the best and most beautiful elements for yourself. The main objective is to enjoy your life.

5. Don’t insist on the little things. You’ve overcome many things in your life, today is important, it’s the present. Don’t let the future frighten you.

6. Independent of age, keep love alive. Love of everything, of your family, of your environment, of your country.

7. Be proud, as much about your inside as your outside. Don’t stop going out. Take care of your body, you’ll feel better and stronger.

8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style.

9. Read the papers. Watch the news. Listen, read, make sure your message machine or voice mail is working, and try to use some form of social media. You’ll be surprised by new encounters and new people you meet as a result.

10. Respect younger generations and their opinions. Give advice and not criticism, and try to remind them of the wisdom of the past which applies to the present.

11. Never use the words “In my day”. Your Day is NOW!! You were younger once, but you still exist now. Have fun and enjoy life!

12. Embrace your “golden years”. Spend your time with positive, joyous people, they’ll rub off on you and your days will seem much more agreeable.

13. Resist the temptation to live with your children or grandchildren. They need to live their lives, and you need to live yours.

14. Don’t give up your leisure activities and hobbies. If you don’t have any, organize/plan some hobbies. Find something that you love and spend some good time, have fun.

15. Even if it doesn’t always thrill you, accept invitations. Baptisms, parties, birthdays, marriages, conferences. Do It!! The important thing is to leave the house from time to time.

16. Talk less and listen more. Don’t tell long stories unless you are asked to. Use a courteous tone, and try to stay positive.

17. If you’ve been offended by others, forgive them. Someone said “Holding a grudge against someone is like taking poison.”

18. If you have a strong belief/conviction, keep it. Don’t waste your time trying to convince others. Be faithful to your beliefs and choices.

19. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Laugh at everything. Convince yourself that you are among the luckiest. You succeeded at having a life, a long life.

20. Don’t pay any attention to what others say. Be proud to be yourself, proud of what you have accomplished. There is still a lot of happiness to take from life, so grab it!!

I really liked the reminder to keep up with the news. It’s so overwhelming at times, that it’s tempting to ignore what’s happening in the world. I liked too being reminded to accept invitations. It’s easy, at every age, to turn down invitations that sound dull or boring or just plain tiresome. But almost every time I accept an invitation that I was dubious about, I end up meeting someone really interesting, or have a much better time than I expected. It’s good to get out there, get dressed up and meet new people. It gives us a new perspective on life. And worrying less is always good advice for me, I worry too much about the people I love, and most of what I worry about never happens. Staying positive about life can be a challenge, but it’s so important, at every age. I know some young people who have a dreary, sour, defeated attitude about life, and some old ones who are incredibly positive and cheerful in their outlook on life. Who would you rather be around? The positive ones, or the angry, unhappy people who feel cheated by life, complain all the time, and bring you down?

I really liked the advice in these suggestions, and it reminded me that life can be ‘golden’ at any age. It all depends on how we view it. So I pass this on to you.

Have a great week!!

love, Danielle

1/1/18, Clean Slate

Posted on January 1, 2018

Hi Everyone,

I hope that Christmas has been joyful and peaceful for you, and happened the way you wanted it to, with some happy surprises!!

Mine has been a family Christmas, which is how I like it, with my children around me, and I’ve been very lucky that my 5 younger children and their significant others all came home for Christmas, and my three older ones were nearby too. It’s been a lovely Christmas.

It’s a nostalgic time, when inevitably you think of Christmases of years past, when they were all here, living at home, we hadn’t lost anyone, and life was easier than we realized then. It’s easy to spot the blessings as you look to the past, and sometimes not as easy to recognize them in everyday life, while we’re all occupied with the business of daily living. The past seems infinitely precious now, but so is the present. I’m very grateful to have had my children with me this Christmas. And we can all heave a sigh of relief, the presents are all given out, the rushing around is all done. We pulled off the holidays for another year, and the mad rush that impacts all or most of us between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And now inevitably we take stock of all that happened in our lives this year, as it draws to a close. I am very grateful for the many blessings of this year, which in retrospect outnumber the bumps—-and there are always bumps in all our lives. But the blessings were many and very sweet.

Now we have one last hurdle to get over, before we can close this year, and get on to a new year, with all its challenges and happy, exciting moments. New Year’s eve, it’s never been a night I love. I always thought that people tried too hard, and I’ve spent it giving parties for friends, dancing on some years, giving poker parties once I was alone (which was REALLY fun!!!), I have spent it romantically, and alone, and in recent years, I really don’t want to go out and party on New Year’s eve, or even give a party (I’ve done it with fancy food, and fast food—and the fast food and curly fries and burgers and corn dogs was actually more fun!!). For the last two years, I spent New Year’s Eve writing, and I really enjoy that. My kids have left after Christmas by then, and rather than looking back at the past wistfully in a quiet house, I’d rather be deeply engaged in a new book, all wrapped up in the characters and the lives I create for them. It’s fun for me, and is a great way to spend it. I don’t need to figure out who to spend it with, or what to wear, or risk my life on the highway in bad weather going somewhere. I stay cozily at home, writing. For now, anyway, it’s my favorite plan, and how I plan to spend it this year. And however you decide to spend it, with lots of friends, a few good ones, among strangers, or alone, I hope you have a great New Year’s Eve, doing what you like to do best.

And today is a new beginning, a brand new year, a clean slate. Whatever last year brought you, whether disappointing or fabulous, today we all get to clear the decks and start again, filled with hope and plans, wishes and dreams, promises to ourselves about what we will do better, or try not to do again. You could meet the person of your dreams, wind up in a new job or home by the end of the year, or get out of a bad situation, or improve an old one. You can do almost anything you want, and start fresh today. I love the idea of that. We are all brand new today.

So let’s look ahead together, at what this New Year may bring us. And my wish for you is that it will be The BEST year ever. The Best is yet to come. Happy New Year. Happy New Day…..I want it to be a great one for you, and for all of us….that’s my wish for you. Happy Clean Slate, as we leave the past behind us, and forge ahead.

Happy 2018 !!! and all my love, Danielle

Newer Entries »