Posted on March 2, 2015
If you’re in the East of the US, I hope you’re staying warm!!! After 80 degree weather in LA last week, I ‘breezed’ through New York for a few days, and it was bone chillingly cold, and felt Arctic to me. I had forgotten how cold that can be!!!
But despite the freezing weather, I had a wonderful experience in New York. Several times, I have had the privilege and pleasure of being on Good Morning America, being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Once in a while, you meet a special person, who really makes a deep impression, and you know you are in the presence of a truly lovely human being, beautiful both inside and out. And Robin Roberts is one of those rare, rare people. I knew it the first time we met on the show, beautiful, gracious, elegant in style and spirit, compassionate, wise, modest, kind, intelligent, charming, poised. There are never enough adjectives to describe her. She is one of those rare, rare interviewers who totally highlights her guest, puts a favorable spotlight on them, and does nothing to put herself forward. She makes you feel like a very, very special person, and you float away after the show with a warm glow, dazzled by her.
I was immensely relieved to see that she looks better than ever, after her illness, which she battled courageously. She looked fantastic, was adorable, and actually makes the interview fun—–which isn’t always the case for me, in fact never is with other interviewers, because I’m very shy and interviews and live TV always scare me silly. But not with Robin. With Robin, they are a treat, and actually fun to do with her. I was on the show to talk about my new book in hardcover, Prodigal Son, and we talked about it, and then talked about my career more generally, my children, fashion, and the fact that three of my daughters are fashion consultants and stylists. And they even showed two of my fashion ‘adventures’, a couple of really odd things I bought a long time ago. It gave us a good laugh. And once again, I floated off the show after talking to her, and she lit up my whole day, and I know I’ll remember the interview for a long time, as I do all the others. So many interviewers want to challenge you, put you on the spot, embarrass you, and catch you out, Robin just wants to celebrate your accomplishments and share them with her viewers, and it becomes a positive experience for all, the guest, the audience, and hopefully for Robin too. She gives so much of herself to making the guest feel comfortable and at ease, and good about themselves, and look good to the world. I can never thank her enough or the wonderful experience it is being on the show with her.
I had to be at the show at 8 am, and leave my hotel at 7:30 am to do so. I got up at 3:30 am, the hairdresser and make-up artist came to my hotel at 4 am to get me ready, and then we set out in the freezing cold to be driven to the show, where you’re given a dressing room to wait for your time to come on. I am always very, very, very nervous before the show, but once I’m on with Robin, the time flies, and it’s over before you know it. I had a busy day after that. But what a wonderful morning, and what a gift to see Robin again….I would get up even earlier to be on with her, or skip sleep entirely…..I always feel so lucky, blessed and privileged when I see her, and am a guest on the show, interviewed by her. What a very, very special human being she is!!! I wish her every happiness for all the joy she gives to so many. And I feel lucky to know her. And when you see her on Good Morning America, know that, yes, she is every bit as lovely and nice as she seems on the show—–even more so in real life!!! It is an honor to know her.
Posted on February 23, 2015
I hope last week was a good week for you, and that you got a day off for President’s Day and had a long weekend. I used the day off (my office was closed) to do some travelling, and I am definitely moving around these days. Last week, I visited a new city, Seattle, to meet two of the big distributors of my books, Costco and Amazon, as I told you in last week’s blog. This week, I spent the whole week in a city I know well, and always love: L.A. I had meetings for some very interesting possible new projects, and this seemed like a good time to explore them, between books, so I went to LA for the week. San Franciscans are often snobbish about LA, but I love it, and always have a great time there. For one thing, I left Paris in a snowstorm two weeks ago, landed in New York in freezing weather between two snowstorms, and the weather has been below zero in New York for weeks now. The weather in San Francisco has been nicer than usual for this time of year but not summer, and Seattle was gray and chilly while I was there. I hopped my bus, which is a fun and easy way to travel—I’ve had a rock star bus for 20 years, which was a fantastic way to travel when my kids were younger. Herding 9 kids and all their equipment onto airplanes got complicated and when I had to go to LA for business regularly, when I was making the TV movies (and always took the kids to LA with me). The bus was terrific for all of us then, with comfortable couches and seats, a kitchen and a bathroom. I still use it whenever I have to go to LA, or for trips to the mountains. I can walk around, eat, sleep,work, go barefoot, and do whatever I want. So I got on the bus in San Francisco last Monday, and five and a half hours later, I was in LA, in gorgeous sunny weather, hovering around eighty degrees. It felt like summer, sheer Heaven. It was so wonderful to be in warm weather, and escape wintry cities for a few days. (I felt guilty toward my New York friends, who keep telling me how cold it is with bone-chilling temperatures).
I have new dramatic agents in LA (dramatic agents handle movies and TV, as opposed to my literary agent, who handles my books). And it was exciting spending time with them, getting to know them, and meeting the people they thought I should meet. It was a VERY exciting week, spent mostly on business, and tossing around some ideas. LA is a vibrant city, where much of the business activity centers around the entertainment industry, and if you’re even remotely related to it, it’s exciting and fun. People are busy, working hard, doing interesting creative projects and the names of famous actors, actresses and directors are bandied around like old friends. And even for someone on the fringe of that world as I am (I did 21 movies for TV, based on my books, 20 years ago, and they still show on TV from time to time around the world), the excitement of that milieu is contagious. And last week was particularly exciting in that business, with the Academy Awards only days away. I had a wonderful time meeting people involved in the business, and those who produce everyone’s favorite TV shows and series. TV Series have become one of the most popular forms of entertainment, and everyone seems to be addicted to one show or another. The series I LOVE is Downton Abbey, and have been in love with it for five seasons now. And they say that next year will be the last season!!! (And before it ends, I hope they tie up all the loose ends just the way I want. I email with several friends who also love the show, and we all have our wish list of what should happen next. I love so much about that show: the characters, the script, the touching moments, the dramas, the funny comments, how well written it is, and the fabulous authentic costumes of the period (1924 right now, it started in 1912, with gorgeous costumes), and even the hairdos are fascinating and true to the times. An incredible amount of meticulous research must go into that show. And when I turn it on, I feel like I’m visiting old friends, after 5 years of devotion to them. Sometimes, when I have a bad day, I watch a favorite episode to cheer me up!!) Being around creative people, involved in creating TV shows and movies is always invigorating. So I thoroughly enjoyed my week in LA, the people I met, the meetings I attended, and my new film and TV agents treated me like royalty. I told them that I felt like Cinderella at the Ball. When no one is spoiling me this week, I will feel like Cinderella after the coach turned back into a pumpkin and the coachmen into 6 white mice!! I’ll be back in my cozy old cashmere nightgown (with the holes in it), at my typewriter at my desk. I won’t be meeting any new creative people, the weather will probably be foggy and gloomy, and no one will be squiring me around!!! Back to real life. LA always has an unreal/movie quality to it, and going back home afterwards is always something of a jolt. But I sure had fun while I was there, and my agents were incredibly kind to me, and even took me to dinner twice. They are both wonderful people, and I really enjoyed their company and discovering their world. They’re terrific, and are already two new friends, and it was a pleasure working with them, and their abundance of ideas.
So it’s been a very lively two weeks for me, ‘out in the world’, and now I have work to do, a set of galleys to edit (the last stage before a book goes to the printer, and my last chance to change anything that needs correcting), and I have an audio script to correct for one of my books to be read on CD. (I have to pick the actor’s voice for that too). And I’ll have to deal with everything that piled up on my desk while I was in LA. But what a fun week it was, definitely a Cinderella experience!!…..and now back to real life. Have a great week!!
PS. AND DON’T FORGET THAT MY NEW BOOK “PRODIGAL SON” COMES OUT IN HARDCOVER TOMORROW!!! As the publisher says, “it’s a novel of suspicion, betrayal, and suspense”. It’s full of doubts and questions, and the mystery as to who is good and who is evil, with two men who are twins as the main characters, and all the people and complications in their lives. It’s an exciting book, and I worked hard on it. I hope you love it, and have a chance to read it soon!!! love, D.
Posted on February 16, 2015
I hope you had a good week last week. Mine was insanely busy. I’m travelling around these days, and have had some new experiences. I’ve never done book tours for my books, because I have too many children, and write too many books. I wrote my first book at 19, and was already married and had a child by then, and there was no way I could take care of my daughter, and write, and go on tour for the books. So I said right from the beginning that I wouldn’t tour, and my publisher at the time informed me that I would never succeed if I didn’t, but I took the chance and stuck with my decision not to tour. And actually, things turned out pretty well, since here we are and I’m writing to you, and presumably you read my books. Then habit set in, and (many) more kids arrived, I write several books a year, and there was just no way I could tour, keep up with my work, and drive car pool and show up at soccer games, lacrosse, ballet classes with my daughters, and the orthodontist. So I have always stayed close to home with my children around me, or one on my hip, and my nose in my typewriter all night. Nothing much has changed, except the kids have grown up, more or less (I still have one at home, although her life is busier than mine). So recently, I decided to do something different, but which seemed important to me. I told my publisher that I wanted to meet some of the big distributors of my books, notably Walmart, Costco and Amazon. Walmart is more of a challenge since it’s in Arkansas, but Costco and Amazon are in Seattle, and only a short hop by plane from San Francisco when I’m there.
So I set up the meetings, and set out on a new adventure last week. I went to a city I’ve never been before: Seattle, on a very grown up trip, to meet some people at Amazon and Costco. And since I’ve never done anything like it before, it was a little daunting. It seemed a little silly to be knocking on their doors to say “Hi!! I just wanted to thank you for doing such a great job for me!” but essentially, that’s what I did. And as usually happens, when you dare to do something new and different, it totally surprised me, and was unexpectedly terrific, and I’m so happy that I did it. I’m shy, and writing is a great excuse to stay home and not get out in the world much, but I am SOOO happy that I made the trip. Everything about it was perfect.
My first meeting was with a wonderful woman from Costco, who has been there as long as I’ve been writing. She had a busy week, so she very kindly agreed to meet me at my hotel for a drink after work. She was incredibly nice to do that after a long day, and she even had to pick her dogs up at Day Care before she met me. And it was one of those chance encounters when everything clicks. Everything. I felt like I was meeting an old friend, I had heard wonderful things about her from my editor, and several other people, and everything they said was true. It took about 5 minutes to figure out that we were kindred spirits. She stayed for more than two hours, and by the time she left, I had a new friend, and so did she, with hopes and promises to meet again. I had a wonderful time talking to her about the business, which I never get to do. No one at my house knows anything about publishing or selling books, and I don’t see my publishers often either, or even my agent, or editor. Everything happens by email now, so I have very little personal face-to-face contact with anyone in the business, and I live 3,000 miles from the publishing world, in either of my homes. I had THE MOST wonderful time with my new friend from Costco. The whole meeting felt like a gift, and was a reminder to me to take my courage in my hands more often and do something new. It was really terrific, and got my trip to Seattle off to a wonderful start. I can’t begin to tell you how great it was, and what a wonderful person she is!!!! I felt like I had won the lottery when I went back to my room, smiling from ear to ear. (And of course we talked about dogs too. I always take my two little Chihuahuas with me everywhere, but I didn’t for this short trip, and as I left the house, they both looked heartbroken and shocked, and one of them to prove a point got sick as I was walking out the door, and I left feeling severely guilty!! But they’re both okay now.)
I’m not very good at going out on my own, so I didn’t go out to dinner that night, and actually skipped dinner and ate some pretzels and a Kit Kat in my room instead. Seriously healthy food!!! And I’d had a hot dog for lunch.
The next morning, I woke up at 6, nervous about my next meetings. I couldn’t possibly get that lucky again, and this wasn’t going to be just a friendly drink at my hotel. I was going to Amazon (if I could find the right building) for serious, grown up meetings. And indeed Amazon is a complex of buildings in downtown Seattle, but I found the right building (with good directions) more easily than expected. And was met immediately at the entrance by a lovely young woman who was all set to take me upstairs. She had a fascinating history, and had lived in Thailand, the Philippines and Chicago, and totally stunned me when I got upstairs, and had a ‘snack’ waiting for me of Oreo cookies, which she heard I love, and hard boiled eggs, which she had read I eat when I’m writing. We chatted until the woman I was meeting arrived, the head of books who was a lovely person, and generously spent an hour with me, talking about the books, and she did everything to make me feel at home. And it was fascinating being at Amazon. The atmosphere is informal, people are casually dressed, and are even allowed to bring their dogs to work. In some ways, it felt more like a college or a big school than what I had expected. And after an hour, I was escorted upstairs to meet Jeff Bezos, the head of Amazon. And yes, I was nervous!!! I was led through two conference rooms and several ante rooms, and had no idea what to expect, when in walked a friendly, smiling, relaxed man with all the modesty of someone truly important and we sat down and chatted like old friends. I was bowled over that he, and the woman in charge of books had been so generous with their time, and spent so much time with me, getting to know me, so I could thank them for all that they do for me. Mr. Bezos was extraordinarily kind and welcoming, and everyone acted as though they had been waiting years to meet me, and we chatted for nearly an hour, we posed for a photograph together (he looked a lot better than I did), and then I left, a little stunned and dazed by the whole experience and my two days in Seattle. I had met with three very important people in book sales, and the whole experience was amazing. We don’t talk about my work a lot at home, and never have, I don’t go out in the world much or take advantage of my fame, so being somewhere where the whole focus is on me and my work is amazing and unusual for me. (No one at my house is impressed by who I am, and I wouldn’t want them to be!!), so to be center stage for two days was kind of a shock, and with such interesting, impressive people. I have always wanted to meet Jeff Bezos and now I have, and he couldn’t possibly have been nicer or warmer, as well as his entire staff. (I even took the bag of Oreos with me, which turned out to be lunch. I was too nervous and excited to eat, until I finally got home that night and had soup and some kind of carrot soufflé I found in the fridge.)
I had a fantastic time, and it was a great trip. Afterwards I wandered around the shopping district a little. I never got to see much of the city touristically, although my hotel was on the water, and the sky was beautiful. Both days were gray, but there was a soft pearly gray light over the city, which reminded me of Paris. And then I hopped a plane and went home to San Francisco. Mission accomplished!! I actually got to meet some of the people who are so vital to my books, and thank them in person, and now we know each other. It was exactly what I hoped for, and everyone was so wonderful to me. It couldn’t have been better. So a small act of courage going there, and making the time in my writing and travel schedule turned out to be one of the best ideas I’ve had in years. It was a wonderful, wonderful trip, and I was immensely spoiled by everyone. And I had so much fun!!! Going to Seattle to meet those three people turned out to be an incredible gift for me, and I’m truly grateful for their kindness and the experience. Have a wonderful week!!
Posted on February 9, 2015
I’ve been whipping through various cities, all of them freezing cold, and some of them buried in snow. I love snow until it gets messy, and this is the time of year when we’re all a little tired of winter and gray weather, but spring still seems like it’s a long way off in most places. And this time of year is always a good time for me to work. And I’ve been busy at my desk, writing and editing.
I suddenly realized that Valentine’s Day is only days away, which I always face with a little trepidation, sweet memories, and a bit of hope. I have a sweet piece I wrote in the February issue of Harper’s Bazaar this month, about when my husband John, (father of eight of my nine children, whom I was married to for 17 years) proposed to me on Valentine’s Day. I’d have to say that that was my best Valentine’s Day, with the most successful results (despite the divorce 17 years later, we stayed very close in spite of it). And we shared some great Valentine’s Days in between. And my husband after that filled a hotel room with roses and rose petals on Valentine’s Day, and we were married 6 weeks later, and we remain very close and good friends too. So I really can’t complain. Two great Valentine’s Days in one lifetime is a pretty good score, even if the other Valentine’s Days were not quite as romantic or exciting, and sometimes downright dull. One of my daughters, who is currently not involved with anyone, said the other day with a look of disgust, “It’s a stupid day, designed to make us feel awful and like losers if we don’t have a boyfriend”. She has a point there too. It’s a day when those of us who are not in relationships stick out like rocks in a stream, as the waters flow around us. I told you several years ago in a blog about the year Valentine’s Day fell on a Sunday and I went to church, where the priest asked everyone in couples to stand up so the rest of us could applaud them, and they handed each couple two roses, while the rest of us slunk out of church alone and empty handed, even more depressed than when we came in. No roses for the ‘losers’!!! I complained to the priest afterwards and said that we should have gotten the roses to make us feel better, the couples had each other. But on Valentine’s Day, the world celebrates lovers, and the rest of us eat chocolates we buy ourselves as consolation. It’s an easy day to feel sorry for ourselves if our love life isn’t as we wish it would be. And let’s face it, EVERY year can’t be romantic, and a lot of men think Valentine’s Day is silly, and don’t always pay adequate homage to it, in their wives’ and girlfriends’ opinions. So don’t feel totally alone if your man/or woman doesn’t make a big deal of it. Personally, I love Valentine’s Day, with the right person, in the right circumstances. If not, well, that’s how it is, this year, but not necessarily forever. There’s always next year, which may be a whole lot better, and just as you wish!!! Dreams DO come true!!
I hope your Valentine’s Day is lining up as a real winner, with wonderful surprises in store, maybe even a proposal, or at least a romantic evening!!! I am buried in work at the moment, so I have a feeling that mine will involve me and a box of chocolates at my desk, but you never know. Prince Charming may be lurking out there somewhere, if he isn’t at home watching sports on TV. I have a busy week ahead before that, with a business trip to visit some of the big distributors of my books. It’s something I’ve never done before, but a good thing to do, to meet the people who make a big difference in my work life, and work hard for me, even though we never see each other. So I thought it was a good time to get out there, meet them, and say thank you. So many people are part of the process before my books actually reach you. Editors, publishers, wholesalers, distributors, bookstore owners, supermarket chains, shippers, truckers, printers, book binders, the art departments who come up with the covers, PR people. The list of those involved is dizzying, and I rarely have an opportunity to meet any of them, or thank them. So I’m taking a couple of days to do it. It’s new for me, exciting, and a little scary to get out in the big world, and meet new people as part of the business process. It’s a lot easier staying cozily at home, in a couple of warm ratty old sweaters or my nightgown, at my desk, writing the books for you. That’s the fun part for me. But it seems appropriate to thank some of the people involved, that neither you nor I ever see, but are an important part of the process too.
I was reading some of your responses to my blogs the other day, and some of what you wrote moved me to tears. It means so much to me to know that the books are meaningful to you, that they helped you in some way, and resonated, or that you just had fun with them and enjoyed them. And although I can’t answer all the comments, please please know how much they mean to me and touch me. I am sooooooo very grateful for your support, your kindness, your loyalty, and your very generous words. Writing a book is a very solitary process, you pull the story out of your head, and the feelings out of your gut and heart, weave it all together, and spend a long time writing, re-writing and polishing it, and send it out in the atmosphere like a balloon floating through the skies, and hope that it lands in the right hands, of someone who will care about it, and love it, and that it will have meaning to. It touches me deeply and means the world to me to know that the books mean a lot to you too.
There are a lot of other options to reading books these days, far more than there used to be, most of them on the Internet. You can watch movies at home, send photos on Instagram, tweet, watch funny videos, play video games, or look for the love of your life on Internet dating. Or just hang out at home, watch TV, or play with your dog. People don’t read as much as they used to, so your reading the books is very important to me, given all the other distractions we all have. And the world is serious business these days, with drama happening every time we turn on the news. I still love relaxing, and even escaping, with a good book, and I’m glad and grateful that you do too!!! And I’m very, very grateful that you read mine.
So I hope that this Valentine’s Day will be the best one ever for you—–full of romance and roses and chocolates, and hopefully dinner with someone you’re crazy about. And if not, there is always next year!!! Life is so full of wonderful surprises, that’s the best part of it, you never know what’s going to happen, and even if you’re watching TV alone at home this year, you may be madly in love with someone fantastic next year. You really never know what life has in store, at any age or stage of life, and something wonderful may be just around the corner. And please know that whatever happens, wherever you are, year after year, you are my Best Valentine every year!!!!
with all my love, Danielle
Posted on February 2, 2015
Happy Days, it has just been “Haute Couture Week” in Paris, the fashion shows of Haute Couture shows, by only a handful now of famous designers. There are 2 kinds of fashion weeks now in Paris. Haute Couture and Ready to Wear. “In the old days”, 10 or 20 years ago, the only people involved in Ready to Wear shows were in the fashion business, magazine editors, fashion press, and mostly store buyers who went to those shows to select what they would buy for the following seasons for the stores they represented. Those in the audience came from around the world. And it’s really more like fashion “month” in ready to wear, since there is a full week or longer of those shows in New York, London, Paris and Milan, each week in a different city. “Regular people” who just like to see clothes didn’t used to go to the Ready to Wear shows, and they weren’t a glamourous event. The shows were attended by hard working, serious store buyers trying to make the right choices for their stores for the next season. And both Ready to Wear and Haute Couture shows happen twice a year. The Couture in late January and early July, the ready to wear in February/March and late Sept/early October. And the audience for the Haute Couture shows were the Elite, famous actresses, the wives of Presidents and heads of State, the Crowned Heads of certain countries, and women with a great deal (!!!!) of money to spend on their wardrobes. The audience for Haute Couture was as exciting as the clothes and famous models on the runway. Now, in today’s world, the importance of both kinds of fashion has changed. Today, haute couture is for only a tiny few. Haute Couture only happens in Paris. It is the fine art of exquisite clothes, where every single stitch must be made by hand. Nothing is mass produced or made by machine. You see the clothes on the runway, go to the fashion house that made them to try on the samples if you can squeeze into them (in a size 2), or see models show them to you again, order them, and many months later, the clothes arrive, after hundreds of hours of hand sewing, embroidery, where every tiny bead and sequin is sewn on by expert hands. Few women still wear those kinds of clothes today, ‘need’ them for their wardrobes or can afford them. And they barely make sense for the lives most women lead today, where women work, everyone dresses more simply and even the best dressed women spend a lot of time in jeans and running shoes. (A typical Haute Couture outfit 30 years ago, not so long ago, was a dress or suit, with matching hat, coat, and even sometimes matching shoes and handbag in the same fabric). Today, there are only a few houses left who do haute couture, the most illustrious of which are Chanel and Dior, and a few designers who are newer to the scene. It’s barely a three day event (whereas the Ready to Wear Fashion week lasts for 8 jam packed days, of as many as 8 shows a day. For Haute Couture there are one or two significant shows to see a day, although in years past there were 4 and 5 shows to see per day). And the women in the audience at Couture used to be as elegant as the models on the runway.
Today, although seats aren’t easy to get, almost everyone interested in fashion goes to the Ready to Wear shows, fashion editors, bloggers, minor and major movie stars from nearly every country around the world, people who love fashion, and others who just want to be seen (in some pretty wild outfits!!!). Hundreds of members of the press scream the names of stars as they get out of their cars, it is a MAJOR event. And like a once beautiful dowager from another era, Haute Couture is slowly, designer by designer, fading away, and only really followed by a select few. I love fashion, and living in Europe for a lot of my life, I have gone to the Haute Couture shows since I was in my teens. And going to them was always a HUGE deal. You have to be invited, the beautiful invitations arrive a few days before and I sat in the audience, in awe of everything I saw. I had a grandmother who loved fashion too, I used to do designs as a little girl, went to Parsons School of Design to study fashion design when I went to college (at NYU, they had a combined program), and have followed fashion closely all my life, often just as a pleasure to see, not necessarily to buy. And when my own daughters were small, I took all 5 of them to the Haute Couture shows, which fascinated them. They knew they were seeing something very special, and it was a rare privilege for them to be allowed to be there. In all my years of attending the shows, I have only seen a handful of children there, maybe only one or two in addition to my own. And they sat rapt by everything they saw. (The shows are always in spectacular locations, with some incredible stage sets to set the mood for each show). So my girls caught the bug from me, and 3 of them work in fashion, and are part of the chosen few who decide what we’ll wear next season. It’s fascinating to be around them, and listen to them talk to each other and their designer friends. And since my girls were in love with fashion at an early age, as were some of their friends, some of the big young designers today grew up in my house, hanging out with my girls. One of them, Alexander Wang, a wonderful wonderful person, used to cut up some of my girls’ clothes and ‘redesign’ them. I would find them (at 15, 16, 17) wielding a scissor over one of their dresses and I’d have a fit and scream at them all about what they were doing—-little did I know he’d be a huge and very important designer one day!!! (He designs for his own brand, and Balenciaga in Paris, and one of my daughters is the design consultant with him.). The whole group of young designers is all in their late 20’s now, and what incredible talent they have!! It’s a hard working business with lots of stress, and long hours, as they produce 4 collections a year.
When I was very young and newly married (I got married at 17), the audience at Haute Couture was, as I said, the Elite of the world. I’d sit in my place in the front row, agog at who I was seeing. And there were rows of women who were well known, on best dressed lists, and the important and very elegant buyers of Haute Couture from all the big designers. They were usually from aristocratic or even royal families, married to important men, and they would select a whole new wardrobe every season. (The clothes cost only a fraction them of what they cost now. Even a suit, and certainly an evening gown are in the six figures now. A wedding gown can cost half a million dollars or even a million. They weren’t nearly as expensive then, although haute couture has never been cheap. But upper end ready to wear now costs what haute couture did then. Now haute couture is out in the stratosphere.) Those rows of elegant women are almost forgotten names now. Bunny Mellon, Deeda Blair, Nan Kempner, were the goddesses of high fashion 20 years ago. They have been replaced by a wide assortment of people, most of whom you and I wouldn’t recognize by face or name. I saw the wives of some French ex-presidents yesterday, but the big rock stars and movie stars from around the world go to ready to wear, not Couture (although many famous actresses borrow haute couture gowns to wear to the Academy Awards. The big houses will lend clothes for special events if it gets press for them. It’s good advertising for the house and the designer). The women who attend the haute couture shows now are mostly foreign, not French or American. Very wealthy women from Middle Eastern countries, some Asian, many Russian. The world economy is reflected at the Haute Couture shows as well. What countries have big money and can afford clothes at those prices? Very few countries have an economy that can support spending that kind of money today. There are probably only a handful of women around the world who still buy haute couture, and can afford to. The Haute Couture shows are mostly a PR and press event for the house now, and are probably a money loss for them in terms of what they’ll actually sell. The sets for the shows are fabulous and cost a fortune, and the samples on the runway (previously there would be about 75 ‘looks’ and outfits. Now closer to half that amount. It’s just too expensive to make those clothes, even as samples). At the ready to wear shows what you see on the runway will be mass produced, at Haute Couture, if ordered, each garment is made stitch by stitch by hand. the detail on the clothes is incredible as well as the design, beautiful embroideries, beading, it truly is a lost art, and a joy to behold (very special or iconic pieces are always put in the fashion house’s private museum of their most exceptional clothes. Every important dress house has its own museum, with their archives, Balenciaga, Chanel, St. Laurent, Givenchy, Dior). And in the audience are not only women who might buy them, but now there are people in the audience who would never have been there before, press in the audience as well as the press section (of many hundred photographers), bloggers, and people who are friends of the house, or associated with them in some way, or just managed to wangle an invitation, and many of them wearing sweatshirts, running shoes and jeans. Most people who attend like to show off with what they wear, but a lot of people now go in crazy outfits, or even sloppy clothes (I do miss the days when everyone looked gorgeous and it was fun to see what they were wearing. There are still some pretty clothes in the audience from the regular couture buyers, but not nearly as many).
The demographic has changed at the Haute Couture shows too. The clothes designers made in the past for Haute Couture were definitely for grown ups, and the women who bought them were a few in their 30’s, the occasionally very lucky young daughter, but mostly women in their 40’s 50’s and 60’s who spent big money on clothes (and had the jewels and lifestyle to go with them). But what one saw on the runway was a very sophisticated, glamourous, ‘adult’ look. Cute was never a word I would have associated with Haute Couture. Today what you see on the runway is mostly for young women in their very early 20’s. Even my daughters in their mid to late 20’s would look silly in most of the clothes, and there is almost nothing I could wear. Last year, Chanel’s haute couture spring show was ALL very short shorts, worn with tennis shoes in fun fabrics and colors (orange and gold, pink and silver, and others). I can’t imagine a single grown up woman wearing the short shorts I saw last year, nor would they want to spend a fortune on them. Most of the women buying and wearing haute couture now are the very, very young women who are the mistresses and wives of much older men, 40 years older than they are. The men can afford them, and dress their very young companions in haute couture, to show them off like beautiful dolls. And the clothes on the runway reflect that, the clothes you see for the most part can only be worn by the very, very young. And for the most part, the women who used to wear high fashion, and can even afford it, have been forgotten and left in the dust. Haute Couture is now for very young women, and the older men who buy it for them. That, and the high prices of Haute Couture, as well as our changed lifestyle today is probably what has driven most fashionable women from haute couture to ready to wear, and has made the ready to wear shows the more popular event, and more glamourous than they once were.
I usually go to see Dior and Chanel Haute Couture, the only two big houses left who still do couture. One by one, all the big Haute Couture designers of the past have dropped out. This time I only made it to Chanel. It was, as always, a spectacular show, with bright colors (for the spring and summer), a variety of dressy and more casual clothes, elegant women in the audience, and some oddballs who went overboard in what they wore to watch the show. But the clothes were beautiful, and the designer Karl Lagerfeld is a genius of fashion, an icon, and an absolute marvel. He’s in his 80’s, and designs both ready to wear and Haute Couture collections for Chanel. He also designs for Fendi, and his own brand. Full of energy, creativity and talent, he is tireless and brilliant. Every collection is exciting, and the shows really fun to go to. The set was all white yesterday, with cut outs, representing a fantasy garden, and as the models walked out, the whole set burst into bloom with brilliant colored flowers that sprung out. It was a knock out, and as always a fabulous event of beautiful clothes in the rarefied atmosphere of Haute Couture. No matter how it changes, no matter how few women buy it now, or that it’s a dying art, I always find it exciting, and an inspiration, and am thrilled and feel lucky to be there. And it is always fun to go!!!
I did an interview with T Magazine of the New York Times on line about Haute Couture week. It’s online, check it out if you like: http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/tmagazine/2015/01/23/danielle-steel-couture-week-icon/?_r=0&referrer=
And if you want to see what was on the runway, take a look on style.com.
Posted on January 26, 2015
I hope all is going well. It seems weird to think that the holidays were only a few weeks ago, it feels more like months!!! I’m plunged into the New Year, and getting very busy now with meetings and writing.
I had an experience a few days ago, which seems smart to share. It’s something that happens in every city and country, and is a product of our sometimes troubled world and economy, I guess. You read about it in the newspapers, often with a very unhappy ending, and it really is smart to be careful!!!
Two men rang the intercom to my apartment in the morning a few days ago. They said they were from the gas company, but wore no uniforms or anything to identify them as from the gas company. They said they had to come in to “photograph around the apartment, to look for my gas meters, because the gas company was planning to change them”. The hour was not unusual: 10 am, but the story seemed odd to me. Not impossible, but maybe a little off. My gas meters had been changed for newer ones a year or so ago. The men did not look particularly official, had no uniform, or cap or badge to make them seem official (although some people are in full uniform and can be frauds too!!). And there was no way I was letting 2 strange men into my apartment, to wander around, taking photographs. In France, we always receive a letter from any maintenance company (gas, phone, alarms, etc.) well in advance, often weeks in advance to warn us of such a visit. I had had no letter to warn me, which was the most suspicious part of their plan. I called the gas company quickly, and miraculously, a person answered, not a machine, and they told me that it was a bogus story, they were not sending anyone out on missions like that, and had sent no one to me. I then went back to the intercom where the men were still waiting, and I told them I was not letting them in. They got nasty then, and threatened me, and they said that if I didn’t let them in immediately, they would cut my gas line then and there (which they couldn’t do, I’m sure), and I told them to do whatever they wanted, they weren’t coming in. They argued about it very aggressively for a while. Without telling them, I called the police. The men must have realized the ruse wasn’t working, and they left, before the police came. The police said it was a common ruse, and unless I had some real proof that the mission was real (an advance warning letter in the mail from the gas company), never let people like that in. It was the first time it had ever happened to me. I had only recently issued warnings about things like that to my family who stay with me, and people who work for me. But only when you are nose to nose with it, does it bring the point home. And I think that the recent violence in France has made people more cautious, but this is a scenario which has always worried me. And now I saw it in action.
I could so easily imagine some much older person, alone, faced with threats of cutting off their gas, letting people like that into their home. And then, only God knows what would happen: a robbery, a theft, a mugging, an assessment for a future robbery, or worse. It can happen to any unsuspecting person, or even in a distracted moment when you let your guard down.
Companies like Federal Express in France don’t have enough regular employees, so they often send out workers they subcontract with, with no Uniform or official indicators, to deliver packages and letters. I never let them in, because there is nothing to prove that they are what they say. But a uniform isn’t a guarantee either. Plenty of robbers or bad people show up in official uniforms, as mailmen, delivery people, and even police, and are frauds. You need to be careful even of delivery people, someone with an armload of flowers for you, you open the door, and then there’s trouble. I was lucky that these two were so transparent.
I remember a few years ago, a serial rapist in New York was wearing a full legitimate police uniform, ringing doorbells, and young women let them in, and then terrible things happened. Another was masquerading as a fireman. If you have not called for help, and are not expecting a package, delivery or serviceman, be VERY, VERY, VERY careful, and better yet, don’t open the door and let them in!!
I’m not suggesting that you become totally paranoid, hide under your bed, and keep your doors locked forever. But we all need to be wise and careful, alert, and suspicious enough to protect ourselves. Don’t just open the door to anyone, try to be as sure as you can that the person at the door is for real, and if you have any doubt at all, don’t open the door, particularly if you’re alone. You’re better off delaying or even losing a legitimate package than getting hurt, robbed, or worse. The police told me that this is a very common occurrence, and whenever you aren’t sure of the people at the door, DON’T let them in.
So please be careful!!! Take good care!!! Be Safe!!!
much love, Danielle
Posted on January 19, 2015
I hope the New Year is rolling along nicely in its first few weeks. The world seems a little bumpier than usual right now in these first days of the year. In my blog last week, I mentioned the tragedies in Paris, and am noticing the mood in Paris in the aftermath. I think when anything shocking happens, people retreat into their shell for a while to try and figure out what happened, and why, and how they feel about it.
January is a quiet month in most places. People have gotten through the holidays and are tired, the weather tends to be dreary everywhere, gray and cold, rainy or snowy, except if you live in a tropical place somewhere. Two years ago, I stayed home in January in bitter cold weather in Paris, and discovered the TV series Downton Abbey and fell in love with it, and became addicted to it. It’s also a good month to stay home and catch up on work. Nothing much seems to happen in January. And I usually do a lot of writing this month.
And this year, January has happened with a jolt, with the events in Paris. The reaction of French people has been one of strength. Only days after the events which riveted the attention of the world and turned all eyes toward Paris, they held a ‘solidarity rally’, in which 2 million people showed up in a public square in Paris, walked about ten blocks, many of them arm in arm, and holding signs—and quite amazingly was attended by almost every Head of State and Crowned Head in Europe, Africa and parts of the Middle East. They came together to show their support for the people of France after the sad events and attacks that had happened. I was in New York at the time, and cried as I watched the March on CNN. It was extremely moving, old people, young people, world leaders, Presidents, little children. It represented almost half the population of Paris and the surrounding suburbs, and was an extraordinary heartwarming and peaceful event.
A week after the intense drama began, with attacks, deaths, hostage situations, and suicide missions carried out, the mood of Paris is quiet and pensive. Much like the atmosphere in New York after 9/11, which was a far bigger event, in terms of loss of life, the city and its people seem silent and somewhat withdrawn, almost like someone who has been injured and needs to be in a quiet place for a while to think about it and heal from the shock. It is an odd combination of emotions, both sadness and strength, determination not to be terrorized or victimized, respect for those who died, and although quiet, the people seem very brave and strong. There are noticeably fewer people on the streets, and in restaurants and stores, fewer cars, less traffic. People seem very serious, and wisdom dictates staying out of big public places that could be vulnerable: the subway, department stores, big stadiums, some people are avoiding places of worship, so as not to draw attention to themselves. Like any time of mourning, it is a time to turn inward, rather than reach outward, and yet the march last weekend was an extraordinary reaching out in unity and show of strength. But it is also a harsh awakening to the risks and dangers of our troubled world, with the realization that people are vulnerable in every country around the world. Just as 9/11 was a tremendous wake up call in the US, I think these recent events in France were a similar sounding of the alarm in France that they can be at risk in a grocery store, at work or at home.
The big event in January in Paris usually is the sales. The government demands that all stores hold sales in January and July, with terrific bargains of great goods, marked down up to 70%. Stores don’t get to just do sales randomly whenever they want, and they are expected to put their past season’s merchandise on sale during those two months. It usually creates a festive atmosphere, draws shoppers to Paris from all over France, and even from other countries. People come for bargains and pretty things, the streets and stores are crowded, and traffic gets very congested. This month though, the city is almost eerily quiet, with few people in the stores, and no sign of traffic or the usual excitement about sales. Maybe it will pick up before the month is over, as people recover from the trauma to the city and the nation, but suddenly buying a sweater on sale, or a pair of shoes, seems insignificant compared to the bigger issues. I have a feeling that the sales won’t do as well this month as they normally do.
And even farther along the spectrum, in the last days of January is fashion’s Haute Couture week, with really beautiful fashion shows held by important designers of Couture clothes: clothes that have to be ordered, take several months to make and are entirely handmade (every stitch!!). They are extremely beautiful, and works of art, and also extremely expensive given the man-hours it takes to create them. France has always made a big fuss about Couture week, and about its fashion industry, ready to wear as well. Weeks after a national tragedy, it’s hard to imagine people coming from many different countries to view the fashions on the runways. But it’s an industry as well as an art, and people are resilient. And I’m sure that in a few weeks, people will be ready to see the shows, and ready to return to life. Chanel and Dior are the two most important houses that produce the clothes, and there are a number of others. And maybe after a few weeks of silent mourning, people will be ready to face the world again, and think of fashion. For now, it is quiet in Paris, and the mood is somber and strong. And in some ways, maybe it will be a relief to think of something more frivolous, and turn back the clock to an easier, simpler time. France has survived Revolution, Occupation, and two wars. The French are strong people, and they will come through this as well…..and for now, their serious quiet mood seems appropriate. It is the right reaction for the time, and perhaps good for all of us, wherever we are, to think of what’s important to us, what freedoms are essential to us, and what national values, or even what personal values we believe in. A little serious thinking never hurts. And the outpouring of support from other countries has been amazing.
We live in challenging times. I hope that your life is peaceful and all is well with you. And I’ll be writing to you about the fashion shows in a few weeks, when I go to see one by Chanel. Take care.
Posted on January 12, 2015
It has taken me several days to catch my breath enough to write to you about the violence and tragedy in Paris last week. Everything one can say sounds trite, the words are not enough. The very idea of violence against our fellow man shocking, the results whatever the reason shocking, and in the end, despite politics and religion, it is about lives lost. Not just lives you see on TV in alarming videos, or read about in the newspaper, when violence occurs and people die, but someone’s father, mother, husband, child, someone we love or respect or care about is gone forever, and the lives they touched are forever changed.
For years we have read about civil wars, nowadays we read about terrorism, and not only committed by foreigners, but in our own country, by our own people as well. It is inexplicable and terrifying, heartbreaking, and part of our daily lives now. Whether 9/11 or the Boston Marathon, or the tragedy in Paris, or a lone gunman on a college campus, the children murdered at the school in Connecticut a year or two ago, or a number of years ago the children shot and killed in an Amish school, or in Colorado, and in the bombing in Oklahoma 20 years ago. Whatever the reason, or whoever the perpetrators, in the end, it is about the people who were lost, and the families who must live on without them. And our hearts ache immeasurably for those who died, for those who love them, and even for ourselves. We each lose a part of ourselves as well when tragedies occur, we lose our faith, our peace, our trust, our confidence that we are safe, and things will turn out well, and even that our children are safe.
Throughout the centuries, and all through time, religious causes have driven people to kill each other. It is an age old story, but one we are never inured to. It is always shocking, but it is not new. Today we see it more vividly on TV, cell phone videos, and computer screens. But the story is the same, the loss as agonizing. And each time something like this happens, no matter who does it, we are stunned into silence, we are grief stricken, and our hearts ache.
I am so deeply sorry for the families and loved ones of those who died in Paris last week. Whatever the political opinions or religions of the people involved, in the end it is about each person who was lost. We question what could or should have been done differently, why it happened, and in some cases why we didn’t suspect it could or would. It is always difficult to understand the reasons for man’s cruelty to each other at times, and the justifications. It is difficult to understand why it happens or that it does at all. How does a crazed student or young person slip through the cracks, climb over the barriers in their own head, and kill innocent children? Or in another case, kill the parents of innocent children.
We are all traumatized by this. I hear grief in the voice of everyone I speak to in my second home in France. People are subdued and shocked and sad. We all suffer a loss through something like this, and it breeds fear, anger, and cynicism.
We don’t know why it happens, why a breaking point is reached. We pray it won’t happen again. I fear there will always be tragedies of this kind; it is the nature of the human race. And for those of us in the outer circles of public events like this, we are helpless to change it, or make it better, or prevent it from happening again. I am reminded of something Mother Teresa said “We cannot do big things, only small things with an immense amount of love”. Let us do the small things, let us live our lives in love, let us make our small circle of life and the world better because we’re in it. And let us hope that those who perpetrate tragedies will find mercy in their hearts in future. Let the families and loved ones heal, and may those who have died in violence find peace.
When my son Nick died, a suicide at 19, I caught a very bad cold that turned into pneumonia shortly after. I went to my doctor, a kind man, who gave me a ‘dreidel’, the little top that is a tradition at Chanukah in the Jewish faith. It has Hebrew letters on it which say “A great miracle happened here”. When he gave it to me, I thought he was crazy. How could a miracle possibly have happened when my son was dead? But in time, it proved to be true, we started two foundations in his name to help the mentally ill and the homeless and we have helped thousands of people since his death. I wrote a book about him, his life and his illness, which over a million people have read, and it helped many of them. I have spoken out about mental illness, which has helped dispel some of the stigma and mystery around mental illness. One boy, my son, started all of that and caused it to happen, which is a miracle in a way. So many, many lives were touched because of his death. And when there is a tragedy, there is a miracle in it too. It can spawn empathy, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, change, it can be a bridge between grieving people, bring people closer together, and change lives. My prayer is that somewhere in the ashes of this tragedy, there will be a miracle for those who have survived and for the rest of us. May a miracle we cannot even guess at now eventually emerge? And to those who have lost loved ones, my deepest sympathy. And may we all do small things to help and comfort each other, with an immense amount of love.
With all my love to you, Danielle
Posted on January 5, 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!!
I hope the new year is off to a great start and will only get better and better.
As I’ve mentioned to you before, I love quotations that I find here and there, and I frame many of them and put them on my office walls to inspire me. Sometimes just a few wise words at the right time can make a difference. So I thought I’d share some with you here, to inspire you too, and get the new year off to a happy start. I hope you like these too:
– Miracles DO happen!! (I have that one hanging right above my computer, where I see it whenever I send or read an email).
– “Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles” Mike Greenberg.
– No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
– “There are three things in life that are important.
The first is kindness. The second is kindness. The third is kindness.” William James
– There is No Set path, just follow your heart.
– Believe in the power of believing in yourself.
– Do what you can’t do later.
– Live the present, dream for the future, learn from the past.
– “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” Teddy Roosevelt.
– It is never too late to start your life over.
– I have the power to transform my life.
– If you can dream it, you can do it.
– Let your light shine!
– “When you go through a disappointment, don’t stop on that page!” Rev. Joel Osteen
– Bounce Back
– The night is darkest before the dawn
– “Never, Never, never, never Give Up.” Winston Churchill
– “One cannot do big things, only small ones, with an immense amount of love.” Mother Teresa
– Nothing is impossible.
– he best is yet to come.
Happy New Year to you, all my love, Danielle
Posted on December 29, 2014
I’ve been thinking about you over the holidays, hoping that all was going well for you, and that your holidays went smoothly, and weren’t difficult, too challenging, or disappointing. I hope they were fun, even better than you hoped. And I hope that Santa was good to you!!
I had a lovely Christmas with my kids, short but very sweet. We came from as far away as 6,000 miles (me, from Paris), to be together. Three of my younger kids flew out from New York, one from Chicago, one from LA, others were already in California. With a family this size, it’s a major feat to get everyone together. And everything went according to plan. I am always particularly grateful when none of us get snowed in somewhere. Two years ago, my plane was the last flight out of Paris in a snow storm, and 2 days later, mine was the last flight out of New York in another snowstorm, before they closed the airport. But I made it home that year too. This time of year, the weather can be dicey, and with 4 of them flying in from the East Coast, I was relieved once everyone got home. And I always cut it very close, as I am with one daughter in New York every year on her birthday on December 18th, and the next day, I fly back to California for a holiday party I give. I haven’t missed it yet, but it could happen. Anyway, I made it home on time this year.
The time we actually spend ALL together has gotten very short: we were only all here for 3 days together this year, which doesn’t leave much margin for error. It doesn’t leave time to catch up if you have a bad day, miss a flight, or have a headache. But I am enormously grateful that they still all come home despite busy lives, demanding jobs, living in other cities, and significant others who are welcome to spend the holidays with us, but often need or want to be somewhere else. So I’m sure that my kids feel pulled, wanting to be home with me and their brothers and sisters, and wanting to be with their partners too. We had a lunch for Santa and little children. Another lunch for the people who work for me, which was a lot of fun. And we always have a family dinner on Christmas Eve, which is the high point of our Christmas together. We go to the same children’s mass first, in the same church where we have gone since they were born. There are lots of little children, and everyone sings Christmas carols, and then we come home for dinner. Our table used to be full with all nine kids, and my children’s father always joined us, even once we were no longer married. He was an important part of our Christmas celebrations. My three oldest married children no longer join us on Christmas Eve, and have dinner at their own homes that night, or with their in laws, so our ranks have been thinned out. Their father, and my late son Nick are no longer with us, and we feel their absence sharply that night. So that night, I have dinner with the 5 younger of my children, and their significant others when they’re around, if they have any. Santa still drops in for a visit, and everyone tells him what they want for Christmas. And at the end of dinner we play The White Elephant game (we play it at my staff Christmas luncheon too. I got a first aid kit this year and love it). It’s a funny game, everyone brings a gift, and we put them in a pile. Each person selects a gift, and you’re allowed to ‘steal’ it twice from someone else if you like it. And the gifts can get pretty outrageous. My youngest son flatly refused to give up his Chewbacca back pack last year (he swore he was going to wear it to work!!). I got a somewhat naughty Santa sweater this year at our family dinner, and managed to hang onto it, and I wore it on Christmas Day!! We had fun playing the game, played Christmas music, and enjoyed being together. And the challenge for me that night is remembering how grateful I am for my children around the table, and not thinking back to those who are no longer with us, and when our Christmas table was loud and boisterous, with many more people around it, John, Nick, and my older children. I have to force my mind to the present, and focus on now, and not remember the happy times when they were all little kids. These holidays together are precious too, and happy, even if everyone is grown up now.
On Christmas morning, we open presents and hang around together in pajamas, we have lunch around the kitchen table, eating left overs from the night before. And at 6pm, EVERYONE comes home for a Christmas night dinner, my older married kids, the younger children, and even some of their in laws, and little children. It’s a busy, loud, boisterous dinner that night, more like the old days. And I totally envied one of my daughters in law, who arrived for dinner beautifully dressed, but her feet hurt so much after countless holiday parties, so she wore her bedroom slippers: the cozy fleece lined kind—-I wanted to rip them right off her feet and put them on. She was the only woman in the room whose feet didn’t hurt, tottering in high heels, after days of celebrations!!! It was a really nice dinner, and everyone had a good time.
Christmas ended quickly this year, with all of them having pulls in their own life now. My youngest married daughter wanted to be at home with us, but her husband didn’t come, so she left at 5am on Christmas morning, to fly back to New York, and have Christmas dinner with him. She managed to keep everyone happy, him, and the family, and sacrificed herself getting up at 4am on Christmas Day and spending the day on the plane. Another daughter left at 6am the day after Christmas, to join her boyfriend and his family on a trip. So it was a beautiful holiday, but the time together was short. They used to spend a week or two at home over Christmas, and we had the luxury of time together. Now, it was all over in three days. But they were three wonderful days. I can’t complain when they make such a huge effort to get home at all, and it was wonderful to be together. As one of my friends reminds me regularly when I think or talk about the past. “That was then, this is now”. And she’s right. And now was wonderful this year, even if the time we spend together is short. They make a huge effort to be here at all.
I got lovely presents from all of them, and tried hard to find things they like. The girls love to get clothes, and with three of them working in fashion, it is REALLY hard to find things that the designers they work for didn’t design, they didn’t design themselves, or haven’t seen for 6 to 9 months before they appeared in the stores. But I think everyone was happy with what they got. I always love the sentimental stuff, a pillow with “Momma” embroidered on it, and a little gold bracelet with “Momma” on it, a wonderful carved book from one son, (a box made of typewriter keys!!), a beautiful bracelet from two daughters who teamed up, and a delicate ring that spells out the word “Mom”, and shoes are always a winner with me, and I got some great ones!! (pink suede flats, red high heels, black flats with sparkles on them, sandals with wooden soles for the summer, ‘camouflage’ flats—-I love shoes and they all know it!!!). And I got a beautiful little portrait of my little blue gray Chihuahua, “Blue”, who is Minnie’s baby sister. (I already have a lovely portrait of Minnie!!)
So we made it through, it was a lovely, warm, loving holiday. We will always remember those who are no longer here, and feel their absence. But the good times buoy our spirits and outweigh the losses…..and as my friend says, That was Then, this is Now. And it was a lovely Christmas this year, they were home for a few days, and I cherish my time with them. I hope your holidays were good too….and they are behind us now. We can look ahead to the New Year. And for the first time ever, I’ve decided not to do anything on New Year’s Eve. I don’t like going out that night, my children are all busy or away. None of the invitations I got felt right, many of my close friends are away. So I’m going spend it at my typewriter, and work right through. It feels like the perfect way to spend New Year’s Eve this year…..writing!!! Have a wonderful New Year’s Eve, and be careful if you’re driving or on the road. And I wish you a fantastic new year, of health, peace, prosperity and happiness. May all your wishes and dreams come true in the new year!! (and mine too!!)
I send you all my love, Danielle
Posted on December 22, 2014
I was packing up my briefcase today before I travel, and remembered a little book I used to carry in my briefcase, and put away a few years ago. It was about Gratitude, and I loved the stories in it, it was by Melody Beatie, I think. I don’t mean to sound like Goody Two Shoes with my messages to you, but I figure that we’re all in this together, and not every day is easy, in fact some days are damn hard, for any of us. And if I can encourage or inspire you to see things differently sometimes, I figure it’s a fair trade, because when I read your messages to me, you so often warm my heart and encourage and inspire me. I love the messages you write me. Thank you!!
There were several stories in the book, but there was one that particularly resonated for me, which is why I dragged it around with me until the book became dog eared, and then put it in my bookcase so it didn’t fall apart. The story I loved was about a house she had bought years before, possibly her first house, and it was the only one she could afford. It was in a bad neighborhood, the house was in bad shape, a major fixer-upper, and as she put it, it was just plain ugly and even once she bought it, she found she hated the house. She tried to do a few things to doll it up, and finally gave up on any kind of improvements, and decided that making the house beautiful was hopeless. So instead of working on it, she just sat there and cried every night, hating the house more and more. And she couldn’t afford to buy a better one, or move, or spend much money to improve it. She said she cried for months, and was totally miserable there. I don’t know what turned things around, but sometimes after you’re miserable enough, something changes or clicks in, and you decide to try and accomplish the impossible anyway. Crying every night is wearing. So she tried to do one thing to improve it. The result wasn’t fabulous, but she said it looked a little better. It was some very small improvement, like pretty clean shelf paper in the kitchen. So encouraged by that, she did one more small thing. And then another, and then she bought some paint and painted something ugly into a better color. And inspired by the minor changes, she did more, and more. She made a lot of small changes, and she didn’t turn the place into a palace, or even a gorgeous house, but she said that as she worked on these small projects every night, instead of crying, she started to love the place, even as ugly as it was. And after months of small changes, she actually loved the house. And the overall look of the place had improved—-the house hadn’t moved to a better neighbourhood, it wasn’t gorgeous, but it suddenly felt like a home, her home, and she really began to love it. And once she loved it, and had tried to make it better, something happened in her life, a series of fortuitous circumstances, and she was able to move to a better house, and she was actually sad to leave the house she had come to love. And the new house was a huge improvement in her life.
I liked the story because it reminded me that sometimes you have to embrace a circumstance you really don’t like, or even hate. The more you complain or try to run away from it, the worse it seems to get. And only when you’re willing to embrace a situation, in all its misery and ugliness does something actually change. How many times have we had jobs we really hate, with a nasty boss or co-workers, or an apartment in a building, or a home with neighbours who make your life miserable? Or a family situation you think you just can’t change. And believe me, I can complain with the best of them when I’m not happy about something. And I’m not always a good sport about it!!! But only when I stop bitching about it, and wailing, accept my fate as it is at that moment, and really accept it and try to improve it right where I am….only then does the situation actually improve, and someone mean gets nicer, or an opportunity comes along that allows me to make a change. Her point with the story was that only when she got truly grateful for the ugly house, and love it, and work on it, did a better house come along. It was a good reminder to me that sometimes we have to embrace situations we don’t like, and do our best to change them right where we are, before things actually change. And then suddenly the blessings are abundant, and things turn out much better than we hope.
The story applies to a lot of things, where we live, where we work, who we hang out with, family battles, or even the holiday plans we’re faced with that are not the ones we want. So I’m sharing the story with you, because I really like the story of the ugly house she came to love….and then she got a better one.
It’s a good reminder to me to embrace the situations I don’t like, and be grateful for what I do have. I have a feeling that she’s right, and things don’t change until we learn to love what we’ve got, and the situation we’re in. It’s something to think about.
And as we head into these last few days before the holidays, my wish and prayer for you is that these days are gentle and easy, as much as merry and bright!!! May all your Christmas wishes come true, and may you be surrounded by those you love, and I hope they are kind to you. And I hope you bring the light and warmth of the holidays to someone else’s heart as well.
A thousand good wishes to you, and all my love, Danielle
Posted on December 15, 2014
It’s less than two weeks before Christmas, and I’ve definitely been busy on the holiday circuit, and with holiday activities, and it has been fun. It’s a nice time of year to spend time with people you care about and enjoy, not just the ‘have to go to’ parties or the ‘think I should’s’. I weeded those out a few years ago, so I get to spend time with people I really consider friends.
This week was a bit of a whirlwind. On Monday I gave a lunch for my women friends, we see each other pretty regularly, so there wasn’t a lot of ‘catch up’ to do, just talking about our plans for the holidays, our families, and latest news, and taking time out from the rush to enjoy each other and have a civilized lunch. There were 7 of us at lunch, since five others couldn’t make it. Almost all of us work, and several of them still have young school age kids at home, and those activities take precedence, for all of us. Or work obligations. It was really fun to have lunch, and to discover that one of the group is having a baby, her fourth, which is brave of her, since she has a big career as an attorney, and a cardiologist husband, and 3 older children, so she has a very full life, but is very excited about this baby. And we were all thrilled for her!! They don’t have baby showers in France, that’s an American tradition, but I’m going to have one for her before the baby comes.
On Tuesday, I had lunch with one of my closest friends, which we do often, to discuss whatever is happening in our lives and enjoy each other’s company. He’s a male best friend, so we also give each other the benefit of the opposite sex perspective on situations, and that can be very helpful at times!! We always have a wonderful time together! And that night, I was invited to an interesting dinner given by American friends, an ex-Ambassador and his wife. And they invited me and a friend to meet the new American Ambassador to France, who is a charming woman. The ambassadorial post in France is not given to a career diplomat, but always to a major supporter of the current president, so it brings some very interesting people to the job, which is an appointment by the President. It was a fun evening and a small dinner of about 10 people, so a good chance to talk to her.
On Wednesday, I had lunch with my co-producers of the song album I wrote the lyrics for last year. And it was nice to catch up with them, and that’s a whole different milieu, since music was very new to me, and not my usual professional world.
On Thursday (which is Saint Danielle Day in France, my saint’s day. Saint Danielle!!), I gave my Christmas party, with 30 good friends, it was what the French call a ‘dining cocktail party’, officially it’s a cocktail party, but that tells people that there will be enough food passed around, or set up on a table that you won’t starve to death if you decide to stay. And in France, all parties go longer, so people will come to a cocktail party and stay til 1 or 1:30 am, which is what happened. It was the group of my social circle in France, and we really had a nice time together, particularly because everyone knows each other well. It was fun!!
And on Friday, I had lunch with a women’s group (of 5 women) that I belong to, and we meet once a month, usually for dinner, but everyone is so busy right now that we met for lunch. And that was really fun too. We all gave each other small gifts, one of them gave me some ‘lotto’ tickets, and I won $10.00 !!!! And Friday night, I went to a Shabbat dinner at the friends who are having the baby. They have a Friday night dinner every week, where friends come for dinner, and stay for long conversations. The food is plentiful, the discussions interesting, the people varied, and their children and their children’s friends come to dinner too. It’s a warm family gathering that everyone enjoys, and I love being invited to their Friday night dinners, with the lighting of the candles, the opening prayer, the traditions, and the lively atmosphere after the formalities. It’s always a special evening to be with them and their friends.
And today, I stayed home to work, and started packing to leave. Tomorrow, my God daughter and her family are coming to dinner. She is four years old, incredibly adorable and irresistible, and we’ll all open presents under my Christmas tree. It has been a thrill to give the little girls I know my new children’s book, “Pretty Minnie in Paris!”, which has wonderful illustrations, and even glitter on the cover, and so far they have all loved it (and so have some of my grown up friends!!) It’s about a little teacup Chihuahua who lives in Paris, and loves to wear pretty clothes. And the illustrations by Kristi Valiant are fabulous!!!
So this week has been all pre-Christmas events, all of which I’ve enjoyed. And last weekend I stayed home to wrap presents—which I am terrible at, and they all look like someone was blindfolded while they did it. Wrapping presents is not my strong suit!!
And before I leave Paris, I’ll have lunch with another good friend, and on my last night here before the holidays, two friends are coming to dinner.
Next week, once I leave Paris, I’m going to spend a day with one of my daughters to celebrate her birthday and have dinner with her and her friends, on the way home. I have a business meeting too, and then back to California for all our family Christmas traditions, and a chance to see some friends too. And I give a lunch every year with Santa present for all the really little children I know. I’ve been doing that since my own children were that small.
So, as you can see, I’ve been caught up in the whirl of Christmas, still doing a lot of shopping, seeing a lot of friends, and still managing have time to work, on a new book outline, some re-writes, and editing a set of ‘galleys’, which is the last stage in “book production”, my last chance to make corrections before a book goes to the printer and is turned into an actual book.
I do love the busy-ness of Christmas, the chance to see friends I love, the excitement of finding just the right gift for someone and hoping they’ll be excited about it, and the quiet moments when you think about what it all means, and inevitably, you think of the people who were part of your Christmas and no longer are, like my late son Nick. There are always some very nostalgic bittersweet moments to the season, but on the whole, happiness prevails.
So that’s what I’ve been up to. I hope your Christmas is off to a good start, and even if it falls short in some way, or the people you love aren’t around, it is a finite number of days, and you know it will be over soon. Before it is, I hope you have some wonderful days and evenings, and some special moments with loved ones and friends.
I am thinking of you, and send you much love, on holidays, and at any other time.
all my love, danielle
Posted on December 8, 2014
You’re probably running around as I am right now, trying to get organized for the holidays. Thanksgiving was wonderful, and I was very grateful that all my children came home, flew home, and so did I, so we could be together, only for a couple of days, but seeing them was a great gift, and always is.
I love reading your comments and responses to my blog too. It was interesting to see that one reader was very upset that several people died at the beginning of my book “Winners”, and another reader responded to her. (I wish I could respond to everyone, but it’s hard to do, but I am grateful for everything you say, and take it to heart). It was unfortunate that the unhappy reader didn’t read on through the book. The whole point of that book is that we can be faced with some incredibly tough situations, hang on, and persevere through them, and triumph in the end. It’s not easy to do, and it takes a great deal of courage. In ‘Winners”, all the main characters in the book have suffered some kind of really tough blow or loss. The central character, a young girl on the Olympic ski team suffers a spinal cord injury in an accident and becomes a paraplegic, which ends her dreams of ‘winning the gold’. The surgeon who operates on her loses her husband the night she operates on the young skier. Another character is a breast cancer survivor and her husband divorced her while she was going through treatment. And another character has lost his career, his money, and his wife (his wife leaves him when his professional life falls apart). And ALL of these people find strength in one way or another, inspired by the courage of the young skier, as she faces her challenges and wins remarkably in the end (and there are many brave people like her in real life). In many ways, it’s a very inspiring book by the end, so I’m sorry that the discontented reader didn’t persevere and get to the uplifting part, which is the whole point of the book. Sometimes the good things in life come at a high price. And I have always liked a quote that I have framed on my wall behind my desk. “Courage is not the absence of fear or despair, but the strength to conquer them”. And another quote I love “Courage is the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good”. The woman who originally said that is Dorothy Thompson, an American journalist in Germany in the 1930’s right before the war. I try very hard to ENcourage people with what I write, not DIScourage them. We get enough of that, and can all use encouragement to face the tough stuff in our lives. Sometimes you have to keep reading, keep going and keep living to get to better times!!! And as Winston Churchill said, “Never, never, never, never give up!!!” which is an inspiration too. I was very fortunate to know Christopher Reeves, the actor who suffered a terrible horseback riding accident, and had a severe spinal cord injury as a result. (He played Superman in the movies). He was one of the bravest, most inspiring, most extraordinary people I ever met, and an amazing example of what people can do, faced with terrible challenges. He was gracious, upbeat, and totally remarkable, and was wonderful even after his accident. And people like him, and others I know, inspired my book “Winners”. The people in the book really are winners, and each one finds a way to triumph in the end.
I was thinking about something today which is what I was going to write to you about, because it was on my mind. Accountability. Being accountable for our actions. It always amazes me how some people just aren’t. And we are half of that equation if we don’t hold people accountable, and don’t expect them to be responsible for what they do. I am always torn by a contradiction on that subject, because I’m religious, and I think forgiveness is important. Not forgiving those who hurt us, whether or not we keep them in our lives, is a heavy burden to carry. And in the Bible when someone asked “how many times must we forgive someone?” the response is 70 times 7. Yikes!!! That’s 490 times. Do I really have to forgive someone 490 times??? That’s a tall order. But I have leaned more toward forgiving people in my life than making them accountable for their actions. You don’t have to stay mad, and shouldn’t, but people really do need to be responsible for their actions. And some people appear to be oblivious to any kind of accountability for what they do to others. There is someone in my life who hurt me very badly many years ago, and I chose the route of forgiveness, and took the higher road. But quite amazingly that same person surfaces from time to time, even regularly, wanting favors from me. I debate about it, and have often decided to be generous about it, and lend a hand. And damn if that person doesn’t take advantage of me EVERY time. Maybe some people just can’t help it. I don’t make an issue of it, but I wind up mad at myself for giving that person another chance they just don’t deserve. They just surfaced again, wanting me to do something I really didn’t want to do, and FINALLY, I just said no. I explained why, nicely, but I’m not going to be taken advantage again. It really is time to set firm boundaries in that case and say no. And predictably, they were furious at me, and quite incensed. I’ve been a good sport for too long, and I think it was a shock to finally hear me say no, I wasn’t going to play that game anymore, where I wind up being and feeling used and taken advantage of. And people who do that seem to be quite shameless about it; it’s all about them and what they want. I thought about it after my firm no, and wondered if I was being unkind or uncharitable, and suddenly realized that no, I finally made that person accountable for their actions of the past. It was long, long overdue, and in the end it was a good feeling. I needed to respect and protect myself. Some people do not improve with time, and if we don’t stop them, they use us again and again and again. I was very proud of myself for making them accountable, not angrily, not meanly, but it was the appropriate response. It has taken me a long time to get there. Some of us learn that lesson slower than others. Accountability is really important in any situation and relationship. We’re all sloppy about that at times, no one is perfect, but we need to be accountable for our actions, and expect the same from others. It was actually a REALLY good feeling, not to let someone take advantage of me again!!! And all it took was a simple, firm, heartfelt No. I wish I’d learned that lesson sooner!!!
And as you go along in these busy weeks, getting ready for the holidays, if you celebrate them—–I hope that all is going well for you!!! I’m always aware that it’s not an easy time of year, but I hope these holidays will be gentle for you!!!
Posted on December 1, 2014
I hope Thanksgiving went well for you, and turned out as you wished.
The Sunday before Thanksgiving, I went to a famous church in San Francisco, Glide Memorial, which is a free form protestant/Christian experience, a church where the founder and pastor is an extraordinary man, Reverend Cecil Williams, and their extensive charitable foundations are run by his exceptionally wonderful wife, Janice Mirikatani. The music there is fabulous, and is Gospel with a large musical ensemble, the message is flawless and calls us to put our actions where our Faith is. It really spoke to me when he said that we wait for God to act on our behalf, but maybe God is waiting for us to act, to demonstrate our faith. I liked that a lot, and he urged us not to Talk Love, but to Live it. I took friends from Europe there, and I always come out of that church feeling terrific and full of energy and renewed faith. Glide is exceptional because they have countless programs for the poor and homeless, education, health and housing programs, detox, and an amazing free meal program, where they serve close to 900,000 free meals a year, lunch and dinner. Cecil and his wife Janice are truly an inspiration!! It got my Thanksgiving week off to a great start, and as he said, the emphasis should be on Giving.
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Posted on November 24, 2014
As of today, the countdown has begun. We are entering the ‘zone’ now, with Thanksgiving in a few days, and as of today Christmas is exactly a month away. And if you have people on your list you’re going to shop for, it’s time to get serious.
I’m one of those annoying people who start Christmas shopping in August. When I see something that looks like the right gift for someone on my list, from August on, I buy it. And in September, I actually start shopping. But the net result is that I now have gifts for employees, friends, people I do business with, have ordered chocolates for the nurses at my pediatrician, dentist, and vet, and even for my dry cleaner in Paris, but the MOST important people on my list, my children, have yet to tell me what they want. So I’m still going to have to go shopping. And I have to beg to find out what they want. I start shopping early so I won’t get caught in the crush in stores at Christmas, and so they don’t run out of sizes, and by October I have it pretty well nailed…..EXCEPT for my kids. So I’m still as stumped as you are, and will be dashing to some store on the 23rd of December.
And with Thanksgiving this week, the holidays have begun in earnest. I particularly like the symbolism of Thanksgiving, a day for giving thanks (and eating way too much!!!). It is a day for excess, a ton of food (I like the stuffing best, and cranberry jelly), and although whipped cream always upsets my stomach, particularly after a huge meal, but I can never resist it. So I will heap it on the pumpkin and apple pie for dessert, and will roll away from the table after!!! But beyond the food we eat on that day, there is the reminder to give thanks for our blessings and for the people at our table. Or it’s a day when we have an opportunity to give back to those less fortunate. Many of my friends work in shelters serving or preparing food that day, and when I was working on the streets on homeless outreach, we always went out to reach out to as many people as we could the night before Thanksgiving. And as we sit down at our table that day, all of us, it’s good to remember those who are alone, or lonely, or may not have a meal to eat. If we can reach out to even one person that day, it makes the holiday even more important. It’s an issue too for many people about who they spend it with, or if they have anyone at all. Gathering friends who have nowhere else to go is an important part of Thanksgiving. And sometimes it’s easier to be with friends than family on that day, depending on how well family members get along.
And once we get through Thanksgiving, the days will just fly by. A few weeks to shop, make plans, invite friends, decide where to go or who to invite, and the next thing you know, we will be nose to nose with Christmas, and our plans or lack of them then. And then there will be New Year’s to get through, and after that we can all heave a sigh of relief and relax. But for now it’s just beginning.
I hope you have a truly wonderful Thanksgiving, that it unfolds just the way you want it to and that you can be with those you love. But if not, remember those who will be so grateful for your company or a helping hand. I will think of you on Thanksgiving, and please know that you are top of the list of things and people that I am grateful for. Have a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday.
Posted on November 17, 2014
I had an interesting experience a few days ago, to share with you. With friends visiting from Europe, one tends to see tourist spots that you just don’t visit in a city where you live. I’ve lived in San Francisco for a very long time, but have never been to visit Alcatraz, the federal prison on an island in the bay, which has been a National Park, and highly visited tourist attraction for many years. The thought of visiting jail cells always seemed depressing, so I’d never been there, but it was on my friends’ list of must sees, and their son was anxious to see it. So we bundled up on a Saturday morning, anticipating cold, windy weather, went down to the dock where the boat leaves from, and it turned out to be a gloriously sunny day. There is a sort of ferry boat that makes the one mile trip from the city to the island, and there were several hundred tourists on it. Once arrived, a National Park Ranger directs you where to go, and a few minutes later after a short hike up the hill (there is also a sort of open jitney that will drive you up), we got kitted out with recorded audio tours, and set out to see the inside of the prison. The tour we took was of the main block of prison cells, and within a few minutes, for me anyway, it became one of those sobering tours that not only teaches your local history, but gives you an inside view of human misery.
I’m sure that the inmates of Alcatraz (which functioned as a prison from 1934 to 1963 for hardened male federal criminals), I’m sure that they weren’t a lovely group of people, but the thought of humans in tiny pens, barely bigger than the cots they slept on was disturbing. The cells were 5 x 9 feet, and 7 feet tall, with a tiny cot, a sink, an open toilet, and a tiny shelf, and that was it. I don’t think they could have walked around the bed. Twice a week they walked around the outdoor yard for two and a half hours of exercise and fresh air, and the rest of the time they were in single occupancy cells. And that was their lot if they behaved well. If not, they were sent to the “Treatment Unit”, more commonly known as the hole, where they would spend several months in a slightly larger cell, but kept in total darkness, as a form of punishment, and only got out of their cell for an hour a week. And that was it. In the normal areas, for well behaved prisoners, they could sign up for books at the library, or take correspondence courses. The tour was narrated by old guards of the prison, and some old prisoners, to give you perspective from both sides. And enticingly, from “The Rock” as they called it, the island that Alcatraz sits on, only a mile away they could see the sparkling lights of the city. Any escape from the Island was allegedly impossible, due to the strong currents in the Bay, and the sharks who inhabit it. It was an incredibly bleak place to visit. The only good news for them was that they were housed one man to a cell, so at least in their cells, they didn’t have to worry about attacks from a hostile or dangerous cell mate. And one of the things that shocked me was that among the prisoners who were sent there were several for tax evasion. Although it’s certainly not okay and illegal to avoid one’s taxes, it was nonetheless horrifying to think that cheating on your taxes could land in you a hopelessly awful place like that. Its most famous prisoner was Al Capone, and a number of others we’ve all heard of, among the famous criminals of the last 80 years. But penning men up in such tiny cells seemed an extraordinary act of cruelty, and must have been a truly devastating existence. Perhaps they deserved it, but human compassion didn’t seem to enter into the scheme of things. And in those days, with less stringent laws about abuse, one can easily imagine that faced with an overzealous guard or officer, there must have been some severe punishments meted out, with nothing to stop them.
I’m not one of those bleeding hearts who believes that prisoners should be coddled and spoiled at the tax payers’ expense, and I have myself been the victim of crimes on more than one occasion, in both cases crimes that were severe enough to land the perpetrators in prison. But those agonizing small cells I saw at Alcatraz seemed bereft of humanity, any creature comfort, or compassion. Some of the men who were sent there were there for 18 or 20 years, and I would think you could go mad in a cell that size or in total darkness for many months in the Treatment Unit. It certainly wouldn’t make the inmates better suited to society, but rather less so, angrier and more dangerous, or maybe only hopeless. Visitors were very quiet, walking from one area, and one grim cell to the next, listening to the tour.
There was a period of the prison’s history that wasn’t mentioned, but I remember. The prison closed its doors as a prison forever in 1963, and I believe it remained guarded but uninhabited for several years. From 1969 to 1971 it became the object of major media attention, when a group of Native Americans took over the island and the prison, and exercised squatters rights there. I asked one of the rangers about it, and he said they are not supposed to mention it. Perhaps it was an embarrassment that they were able to take it over and remain there for two years. I don’t recall how the siege ended.
Also, during the years that the prison was functioning, The Warden, guards and their families and children lived there on the Island. So there was a sort of village of non-prisoners living on the Island, and I imagine it must have been a depressing place to grow up, in the shadow of the prison, on an island, and in San Francisco’s usually bleak, windy, chilly, foggy weather.
There was considerable mention of two escapes that were orchestrated there, which I found interesting. One was quite a large attempt that failed and left three guards and two prisoners dead, and I imagine that those who attempted the escape and organized it were severely punished. And the second attempt was close to the time when the prison closed, perhaps a few years before. Three men had apparently planned it with attention to every detail, and that time, they were successful. They managed to get out of their cells, reach the roof, and then disappeared. The three men were never found, and obviously left the island, presumably swimming, unless they had a boat to pick them up. The mystery of where those three men went was never solved. No trace of them was ever found, neither on land, or drowned in the water. It would seem that if they had drowned, they would have washed up somewhere, but they didn’t. Some believe that they died in the icy water, swept away by the currents, or eaten by sharks. Others believe that they made it to freedom, and went on to lead good lives with new identities. And I have to admit, although I believe in criminals being brought to justice and even being imprisoned, but after touring their cells for two hours, and listening to the hardships of their lives there, I hoped that they made it to freedom. If so, they earned it. And then, still thinking about them, I quietly got on the boat to go back to the city. It’s a tourist spot worth visiting, but certainly not a happy one, and a tribute to human misery, which is always sad to see. And all I could think of were the three men who had tried to swim to freedom from “The Rock”. I hope they made it.
Posted on November 13, 2014
Whew, whirling dervish time in my life. This has been one of those ‘transitional’ weeks when I run through three cities in two countries all in a matter of four days. And sometimes the transition is gentler than others. And it requires a different mindset and attitude in every country and city, depending on the life I live there. But each city has its own characteristics and pace, some speedier or slower than others.
At the end of last week, I left my quiet, friendly relaxing life in Paris, having lunches and dinners with friends, and headed for New York. Usually I see my children there, but this time in addition, I spent most of one day in very interesting meetings with my publishers, making future plans. The meetings were serious and fun, with both my American literary agent, and the agent who handles my foreign sales, the Chairman of my publishing house, the President and CEO, the heads of marketing and publicity, the woman who handles social media, and another who deals with the distribution of the books. Ordinarily, as most writers do, I work in solitary silence, alone at home, and in cities that are each three thousand miles from New York, which is the hub of literary activity and publishing. So to be in the midst of all the excitement and activity at my publisher’s was a BIG change. And after the meetings, we all went to lunch. And then I met up with my daughters. But it was a day of intense activity and work focused on my publishing life and future books for most of the day. We shared a lot of information and some very good plans.
I had dinner with my daughters that night, and again on Saturday and also spent the day with them, and on Sunday I flew back to San Francisco, to unpack, settle in and get ready for some family time in a few weeks. And by Monday of this week, after catching up at my desk, I moved my things out of my beach house that I’ve told you about, since the house was sold. So I apologize for the delay getting my blog up this week, but you can see what I’ve been up to, and there just was no time to write once I got home.
I was startled by how hard it was to let go of my beach house, because I love it, but it’s going to people who are thrilled and love it, so it feels right, even if bittersweet for me to let it go. I had dinner with one son, and before that with three of my daughters in New York.
The week has whizzed by and the holidays are approaching. And hopefully now things will slow down a little, at least for a few days.
Have a great rest of the week,
Posted on November 10, 2014
so I will post a new blog in the next day or two.
Please stay tuned!
Posted on November 3, 2014
I hope you’ve had a good week, and that you had fun on Halloween if you celebrated it!!! I had a dinner last weekend for my Godchildren, with Halloween decorations on the table, candy, costumes (Elsa and Anna from “Frozen” for the girls, and Spiderman for my God daughter’s 7 year old brother). We had fun and watched Sound of Music, so I got a taste of Halloween with little kids. And although I wasn’t with them, my younger kids (in their 20’s) dressed up as Justin Bieber, Cheech and Chong, and My Little Pony. We even dressed up our dogs. My two tiny teacup Chihuahuas, Minnie and Blue, were bumble bees for Halloween. My daughter’s Yorkie Gidget was a bunny (sooo cute!!) and my son’s Boston Bull was a pirate!!! So I think we paid homage to Halloween.
I was thinking about reporting to you about the week, and on the surface, I thought it was a quiet week, and then on closer inspection, I realized it wasn’t that quiet, and there were lots of ups and downs, and a roller coaster of emotions in some areas, that were not negligible after all!! » read more »
Posted on October 27, 2014
I hope that all is okay with you.
For someone who has claimed until this summer that I’ve never lost a friend, who died, (although sadly, I know many young people, contemporaries of my children, who died tragically young, including my own son)—-but on that score, this has not been a good summer or fall. Friends have been falling at a rapid rate. And even more shocking, some of them are people of SUCH UNIMAGINABLY IMMENSE TALENT. Robin Williams two months ago, another friend this summer in Paris, and now Oscar de la Renta, the famous dress designer. In Mr. de la Renta’s case, it was not entirely unexpected as he has fought a valiant battle with cancer for the past several years. But repeatedly, he seemed to conquer the illness and continued to create, see friends, be present, and then he would win another round against the disease. He was a remarkable man in a myriad ways. And I realize as I look back, that I’ve known Oscar for about 30 years, and met him sometime in the 80’s when he was widowed, and before he married his lovely present wife Annette, who is herself the epitome of fashion. And I had heard last week through a mutual friend that Oscar wasn’t doing well, and was finally losing the battle with cancer, after several years. So I wasn’t entirely surprised when I heard the sad news. » read more »