Halloween

Now that we’re getting to know each other a little better, I will confess that I have an extremely silly sense of humor. (After years and years of eating with children, one of my favorite foods is peanut butter. And after the same number of years of hanging out with my kids, occasionally my sense of humor got stuck in fourth grade, possibly even third grade. My kids grew up, I didn’t). It’s probably genetic. I come from a long line of practical jokers—which I am NOT! I hate jokes that embarrass people, but I do like a good laugh. My oldest daughter has an outrageous sense of humor too. She dressed as a pumpkin for Halloween one year, painted her face orange and dyed her hair green. It was a great costume, until she discovered the next day that the orange color on her face wouldn’t come off—-for the next 3 weeks! (She works in a hospital, and they sent her home, thinking she was jaundiced.) My other children demonstrate the same inclination, and April Fool is a nightmare at our house. Every year, at least two of the unmarried ones call to tell me that they’re pregnant, and three to say they’re in jail. And I always fall for the first three calls until I realize what day it is.

So that brings us to Halloween. For years I have dressed as a witch on Halloween, which means anything black I find in my closet, a witch hat from the five and dime, and a red rhinestone broom that sits at the back of my closet all year. It’s gotten pretty boring and has become predictable. The last fun costume I wore was my daughter’s school uniform when she was about 7, and she went as me. But this year, I found a costume I just could not resist. While one of my employees was browsing the Internet for a Halloween costume, I spotted this one over her shoulder….and I ordered it. Okay, guess—-what I am going to be this year? A fairy princess? Dracula? Little Bo Peep? Wonderwoman? NO!!!…..I’m going to be a whoopee cushion for Halloween. I love the costume! And to make matters worse, I am going to have a remote controlled device in the pocket to add the sound effects. It is unbelievably funny and rude. (I’m going to wear it for a brief trick or treat experience with one of my children, and at home for family dinner with 3 of my kids, who still come home for dinner on Halloween.)

There is history here. Like April Fool, my children always went all out for Halloween. But beyond that, they always thought that whoopee cushions were the funniest thing in the world, and loved slipping them into people’s seats. Gales of laughter ensued (mostly from my children). And there was a time long ago, when I always had a spare diaper, a bunch of lollipops, and a whoopee cushion in my purse. And now here we are, all these years later, and I’m going to be one. So now you know one of my secrets. I have a six year old sense of humor.

I took to heart a long time ago the saying “Live long enough to become an embarrassment to your children”. I think I’m there. I hope you’ll forgive me the irreverence and bad taste. I promise, next year I’ll go back to being a witch. Unless….I have so much fun as a whoopee cushion that I have to be a whoopee cushion again next year. Trick or treat!!!

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41 Comments so far
  1. Sasha White October 31, 2008 10:49 am

    It sounds like lots of fun!

    THe whoopee cushion is something that would go over very well at my house. For 15 minutes. LOL

    Happy Halloween!

  2. Holly P October 31, 2008 12:03 pm

    Well, finally..my husband is a Danielle Steel fan! haha! That’s great!

  3. Diana October 31, 2008 1:15 pm

    Sooo fun! Whoopie cushions are a hoot! Enjoy your family tonight.

  4. Adaora October 31, 2008 1:51 pm

    I was so excited to hear that you’ve started a blog. I’m just going to get my quick hello in before you end up with 2000 posts a day. Hello! You’re awesome and I genuinely love your work.

    Cheers!

  5. Sheryl A. VanVleck October 31, 2008 5:34 pm

    That is hysterical. I once went out on Halloween without a costume and everyone thought I was great as Germaine Greer. I never did THAT again.

    I am raising three grandsons, who never did Halloween until they came to live with me three years ago. The youngest two are 16 and 19 and have two boxes of costumes and spent the whole evening deciding what to be today.

    Have a great Halloween!

  6. Kristen McLeod October 31, 2008 6:21 pm

    Just a quick line to tell you how inspirational you are as a woman and a writer. You write with such ease, an incredible sense of style, and the lives people dream about living. I have been reading your books all my life and it’s always assured when I pick up one of your books that I can just dive right in and be at home. I’m terribly excited that you have started a blog and I look forward to reading it!

  7. impy October 31, 2008 7:31 pm

    I am nearly beside myself with delight at you starting a blog. I have been a fan of yours for decades. Probably not for the reasons some have? I have NOT read all of your books! Gasp. I have read some and seen some of the movies. I fell in love with you because I read your pregnancy book every day of my first pregnancy. I remember this line,,,,something like “Having a vaginal birth is like pulling a color television out of your rear”. I can’t believe I just typed that in the comments of your new blog. Just know that the work out outfits, your stories, the stories of your friends, and your unique take on pregnancy, birth and friends has stayed with me for 18 years. That baby I had, is 18 this year. Thank you especially for that book. I wonder what happened to all of those babies born in that book. I hope they are all well. Now, enough for me of looking back,,,,,,,I’m dying to see what’s in the future for your blog! You are truly an amazing woman.

  8. Richard Lewis October 31, 2008 8:09 pm

    Several years ago, my 12-year-old son decided to dress up as a mummy. Before the party at school, I and my wife meticulously wrapped him up in roll upon roll of gauze, from foot to head. When we were done and admiring our handiwork, he said, “I have to go to the bathroom real bad.”

  9. Marilyn Peake October 31, 2008 9:38 pm

    It’s wonderful that you’ve started a blog! The whoopee cushion idea is really funny. Hope you’ll update your blog about how that goes on Halloween.

  10. martina rezna November 1, 2008 3:25 am

    I would like to send you my warm greetings from the heart of Europe. And then I agree with everything written in Adaora’s comment.I really admire you.

  11. april November 1, 2008 7:42 am

    I love your sense of humor. Your costume sounds hysterical!!!! Maybe pictures could be posted???

  12. Marian November 1, 2008 7:44 am

    Hi, I just saw that you have a blog. Just wanted to say hi and I hope you have a lot of fun blogging. I love reading tips and advice from writers, if you want to share any of your secrets!

  13. Tommy November 1, 2008 8:20 am

    Hi Danielle,

    Just wanted to tell you a couple of things:

    – You are VERY beautiful
    and
    – I haven’t read any of your books (yet…)
    but
    – I read your blog, and I kinda like your style

    Virtual hug

    Tommy

  14. September November 1, 2008 9:49 am

    Hello Danielle!
    I’m very excited you started a blog, I loved reading your monthly letters to readers, but this will help us get to know you just a little better. You’re a wonderful writer and from what I’ve seen on TV, a very sweet person!

    With love and warm wishes!

  15. Chris Eldin November 1, 2008 10:32 am

    With your zany sense of humor and slight inclination to the romantic side of things, perhaps a romance novel for kids could be in store? Their love affair began over kool-aid and whoopee custions..
    🙂

  16. Carol Harrington November 1, 2008 12:40 pm

    Just wanted to say hello and glad you are on the internet. I have read all of your books and actually have all of them except these last two. The Rogue and A Good Woman which are two of your new ones. Anxiously awaiting to pick them up. Have always enjoyed your books. Easy reading, good stories and just my kind of reading.
    How you keep thinking of new stories is amazing to me.Keep them coming…

  17. Lois Moss November 1, 2008 7:35 pm

    That sounds hilarious. I hope you had fun and embarrassed your children. It sounds like it’s their turn. Haha!

  18. John Mutford November 1, 2008 8:14 pm

    Happy Halloween– and welcome to the blogosphere.

  19. Diegh November 1, 2008 8:57 pm

    I was just finishing up one of your books yesterday when I saw the article about your blog!!!! Yeah welcome D 🙂

  20. Jack November 1, 2008 9:02 pm

    Welcome to the world of blogging. I’m so surprised there are only a few comments here. What a rare opportunity to communicate! I just wanted to ask a question that is of personal concern to me: how did you get your first novel published? Do you think maybe you could do a post about your earliest days in the publishing business? I know it must have changed, but I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

  21. Kraka November 2, 2008 2:44 am

    In Sweden we have celbrated Halloween for som years. When my son was 6 years old (he is 23 now) I had a halloween party for him, but it was before we had it here. The following year it had come to Sweden. But it still not as big here yet as in your country.
    Yesterday I was om a boat between Stockholm and Åland and a lot of rown up people were dressed up for halloween in fanny clothes. I think it is nice, the older you are the more you should take every chanse to have fun!

  22. JO November 2, 2008 6:52 am

    DS,

    Hello again! I just saw a whoopee cushion costume the day before Halloween and I thought to myself, “Now who would wear something like that?” Well, now I know…someone classy, intelligent, and full of fun…who doesn’t allow age to determine how she should ACT at HER age! :0

    My 15 year old daughter just said to me the other day, “Why can’t you just act your age?” I just laughed and said, “I love life way toooo much to let my age dictate how I’m suppose to act!”

    Thanks Danielle, for being an example to all of us to to Love Life at Every Age!:)

    JO
    “ONLY in the LowCountry”
    LowCountryToday.com

  23. debbie shelton November 2, 2008 12:24 pm

    IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU STARTED A BLOG. IM SUCH A BIG FAN OF YOURS. I HAVE EVERY BOOK YOU HAVE WRITTEN YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY ENJOY HALLOWEEN I TOO ENJOY HALLOWEEN MY KIDS ARE GROWN BUT I HAVE 7 GRANDKIDS. LOL DEBBIE

  24. Kathi November 2, 2008 2:25 pm

    Your only as old as you feel. So if you have the energy and drive to be a whoopee cushion I say “Go for it.” Your only young once. Things like this is probally what keep the family together. Enjoy the family to the fullest. I love you books and have everyone in hardback. I am a true fan. Got your new book today. Smile Smile.
    Kathi

  25. P. L. P. November 2, 2008 4:33 pm

    There’s nothing wrong with having a third grade sense of humor.

    Like Spongebob says “Maturity is Overrated!”

    I think a few silly giggles every now and then really can give our lives a nice sparkle.

    I really liked the part in which you said that two of your unmarried daughters said they were pregnant. If I did that to my parents, they would totally faint. LOL.

  26. Joann Mackewich November 2, 2008 6:00 pm

    I saw a kid dressed up as a whoopie cushion when I was out with my grandkids. Jango Fett, A cheerleader and Tinkerbell. I remember the when our kids dressed. One year my son went as a jack-in-the-box. He had his face painted and he wore a colorful stocking hat. The box was big enough for him to curl up in so we would help him get to the door and he would curl up in side. We would ring the doorbell and as soon as he heard the door open he would jump up and move like he was on springs. That was a real kick.
    I dressed up as a cat as usual…I have 6 now and two are black.

  27. Jennifer A. Ray November 2, 2008 11:57 pm

    OMG, I love the costume idea! Did you snap some photos of the Whoopee cushion costume?

  28. Lauri Shaw November 3, 2008 4:51 am

    Oh, please do upload some photos. Or even better, a video with sound!

  29. D D Scott November 3, 2008 10:58 am

    What a hoot to be a ‘toot’!!!

    Thank you for sharing yourself with us in this exciting new format.

    I’ve read your books since I was in middle school, and now that I’m in the 40-year-old vicinity, your stories are still among my favorites.

    Your talent, hard-work and success have also boosted my dreams and kept me at the keyboard on my way to being a romance author.

    Thank you.

    Sexy, Sassy, Smart Wishes — D. D. Scott

  30. JOAN November 3, 2008 9:51 pm

    Halloween makes me nostalgic for the years when my two boys were small and I got a kick out of making their costumes. I loved Raggedy Ann and Andy, so before they got old enough to object, I made them each into Raggedy Andys complete with red rag wigs and painted on ear-to-ear smiles. One hallowen when my energy for costume-making wained (sp?) for costume-making, they were in their nearly outgrown Church-going suits, toting briefcases from the Goodwill and name stickers that said “Hello… my name is Ben, AMWAY SALESMAN”.
    I had fun coming up with stuff every year, even tho halloween night as a child my sister and I were left to make our own outfits. We were usually bums or gypsies, since there were always plenty of old clothes to pull out of the box marked “Church Rummage Sale”.
    Thanks for letting me conjure up the image of Danielle Steel as a whoppie cushion.
    That make me laugh.

  31. Kimmi November 4, 2008 8:27 am

    I’m a big fan of peanut butter as well very good for you!! And I appreciate a good joke as long as it’s not aimed to hurt. Faux dog poo and spiders are what mine like to torment me with–lol! Nice blog, I’ll bookmark, thanks for the share.

  32. Amy Limpach November 4, 2008 11:54 am

    I LOVE ALL YOUR BOOKS! I have ALL OF them, plus I have all your movies.
    I hope you keep writing, and putting your books on Dvd.

  33. carol shenold November 4, 2008 1:10 pm

    You stole my costume. Not the whoopie cushion, (I think that’s hysterical.) but the witch one. Don’t have the jeweled broo though. Need to think about getting one, or a flying monkey.

  34. Melody November 4, 2008 1:10 pm

    Hi Danielle. My mom is a huge fan and has read almost all of your books! I recently saw you at the Carrots party along with Samantha. I know your children are very special to you so I wanted to share this photo I took of Samantha while she was recently in San Francisco — it’s up on my new San Francisco street style blog. Enjoy!

    thefashionphiles.onsugar.com/tag/Samantha+Traina

  35. Lancelot November 4, 2008 6:06 pm

    Halloween is my birthday.

    Today found a book among the give-aways in a library, the Gift. The introduction sound interesting. I know you are a famous author but so far have never read one book of yours. Maybe this will be the first one.

  36. Hank Phillippi Ryan November 4, 2008 7:54 pm

    Every April Fools, my brother calls. He lives in Colorado Springs, I live in Boston.
    He’s now–what, 48? A lawyer, an environmentalist. I’m what, um, 58? A TV reporter, a mystery writer. We’re both happy and successful, knock on wood.

    Hey Hank, he says. “How’s it going, sis?”
    Hey Chip, I say. “How’s it going, bro?”

    Then he yells: “There’s a spider on you!”

    I freak, I flip, I drop the phone. I fall for it every time.

    This has been happening since 1967. At least.

    Okay. Halloween? Whoopie cushion? I’m begging. You MUST show us a photo.

  37. Reagan November 5, 2008 12:44 pm

    Dear Ms. Steel,
    Firstly, I’d like to say I love your books and I’m excited about your blog! What I love about the books most, and now about this, is your obvious lust for life. It’s infectious! Getting ready to turn the “Big 4-0” myself, I can honestly say that it’s not always easy to look on the bright side of things. Heck! Hormones, aging, teens, jobs that aren’t what you’d hoped, etc. can take their toll! But reading your first two blogs is inspiring!

    There is life after 40? Cool!

    Reagan

    P.S. Love the whoopie cushion. I wish I had that imagination!

  38. bookwitch November 6, 2008 4:17 pm

    Lovely blog, Danielle! I thought that as a minor witch I should leave a comment for your Halloween post. I am very good at embarrassing my children. One has to have a purpose.

  39. Cheryl Kaye Tardif November 10, 2008 3:48 pm

    Whoopee! Another author with a crazy family…hehe.

    Whoopee cushions were the favorites of my younger brothers. I remember so many times when we had company over, one of them would slip it under a chair cushion. We rarely had quiet dinners at our house. 😉

    If I remember correctly, there was one time when my father (a fairly serious military man) invited someone really important to dinner. I believe that a whoopee cushion found its way under the poor man’s chair.

    I kind of caught the prankster infection too and have been known to play a few jokes on people.

    As for Halloween, a few years ago I dressed up like the woman from the horror flick The Ring–the one with the long black hair and white face. I scared away half the kids when I stood in the window. My husband didn’t mind; it meant more candy for him. 🙂 lol

    Take care! And best wishes and continued success!

    Cheryl Kaye Tardif
    author of Whale Song
    http://www.cherylktardif.com

  40. ErvinTW November 11, 2008 3:13 pm

    Thanks! Nice post.

  41. RYErnest November 29, 2008 8:45 pm

    Nice post u have here 😀 Added to my RSS reader